Week 14

How far along? 14 weeks, 1 day

Maternity clothes? Just pants

Sleep? I usually wake up once or twice to go to the bathroom.

Best moment this week? Letting word get out about the baby and sharing in our excitement!

Food cravings: None really.

Gender: Team Green!

Belly button in or out? In

Movement? Nope. I can't wait for that!

What I miss? Nothing : )

What I'm looking forward to: Our next appointment in 2 weeks.

Milestones: We are definitely into the 2nd trimester by anyone's definitions. According to most, the chance of loss at this point is at or less than 1%. We are praying praying praying that this is our healthy take-home baby!

I will say, this first full week of teaching with kids is kicking my butt! I didn't have much morning sickness during 1st tri but it is sure here now! I think actually working is wearing me out and making me feel sick and tired. When I get home in the evening I am really trying to take it easy. I can't wait for that 2nd tri burst of energy and for the nesting to begin. My house is currently a wreck!

1st Nursery Purchase

One thing I've been looking forward to for a long time is decorating a nursery.

Mr. Free and I have always known 2 things regarding our nursery:

1. It needed to be gender neutral

2. We didn't want a "theme" (i.e. No Winnie the Pooh or painted flowers on the wall...etc.)

So ever since our first pregnancy I've been looking for ideas on the internet.

I quickly fell in love with the idea of light turqoise walls with accents of sunny yellow and red.

And also during our first pregnancy I fell in love with this bedding at Target:

When it went on clearance for $35, I snatched it up.

So these are my basis.

A couple of weeks ago, I began looking at nurseries again and found this beautiful image:

I fell in love with that rug!

Those that have read my blog for awhile know how much I've dreamed of a chevron rug, but they are so pricey!

I wrote off that dream rug figuring it was too expensive.

But I was wrong.

As I read about this nursery, the article mentioned that the rug came from Urban Outfitters for $69.

I quickly showed it to Mr. Free with enthusiasm and he ordered it online.

When it came in the mail I saw it was perfect.

Our baby is getting the coveted chevron rug.

And I couldn't be happier.

So this is the foundation of what will become our nursery.

The room we will use is very small.

We anticipate only purchasing a crib and rocker for the space.

We already have a white bookshelf that will serve as storage in the room.

It is so exciting to have another room to decorate, and for such a worthy person makes it even more fun!

I will sure to update you along the way!

I have an announcement...

This February, Mr. Free and I are expecting a little miracle!!!

I've been so quiet this summer because we wanted to wait to share our news with the world until we made it to the Second Trimester.

And truly, all I did this summer was sleep!

We are currently 13 weeks and so far, all is well. We've been monitored by the RE until we "graduated" after our 12 week sonogram.

It appears, thus far, that Femara and Prometrium were what we needed!

Here's some pics of our little LoveBug.

6 weeks

8 weeks

10 weeks

12 weeks

Mr. Free and I have truly felt each and every prayer. We have been so blessed to be surrounding by such caring people.

To be honest, I'm thrilled to be this far along, but I'm still very nervous. Any prayers you have to spare that this little one will arrive safely and healthy would be much appreciated!

My next appointment is in 3 weeks with my regular OB, which I'll be 16 weeks.

We've met with the regular OB once, at 11 weeks and got to hear the heartbeat on the doppler!

It was amazing to hear!

Nice and strong at 166 bpm!

We had never made it that far before.

Around 20 weeks we will be getting a quad and level II ultrasound, as diabetic moms run the risk of their babies having heart defects.

Luckily, my blood sugar has been in tight control, which technically puts our baby at the same risk as an other baby, but I will be monitored anyways.

And since I didn't blog my way through the 1st tri, here's a short recap:

Tired. Needed 1-2 naps daily. Praise the Lord it was summer vacation!

No food sounded good.

Except for KFC Chicken strips, mashed potatoes and biscuit.

Desserts sounded AWFUL! If you know me...you know that is truly not me in my normal state.

Anxiety was a companion through out, but each appointment made her shrink a bit.

I think I cooked twice. The whole summer. Yikes.

That's it! On to second tri!

For those wondering.... we are Team Green.

No pink or blue for us until February!

We are excited for such an amazing surprise!

Hopefully I will be much more regular around here, now that I'm gaining that 2nd tri energy!

Plus I'm excited to share my journey with you as we prepare for this little blessing!

Thank you all again for all your prayers!!!

Summer

Sorry I've been MIA.

I've learned a lot about myself this summer.

Without a schedule, I am not productive at.all.

During the school year, I dream of days without responsibilities so I can work on the many homemaking projects I desire to do.

Then summer comes, and its a successful day if I shower and change out of my PJs!

We only have a week and a half of summer break left. Sniff sniff.

So what have Mr. Free and I done?

We..... went to the Lake for our 4th anniversary! (Where we ate one of the best meals of our lives in Laurie...JJ's at the Copper Pot. I HIGHLY recommend it!)

We... went to St. Louis to celebrate our nieces 1st birthdays!

We... raided the new KC Trader Joe's! They are awesome and MUCH bigger then the St. Louis location! Woohoo!

We....spent time with our good friends from England who stayed with us and then went on a road trip down to Arkansas.

We also spent lots of time in the pool, lake and watched a lot of House Hunters.

So maybe with getting back into the swing of the school year, I'll have more to blog about.

Thank for those who haven't given up on me! : )

Sugar and Cream

While shopping at Crate and Barrel the other day, I noticed this set for sugar and cream.

Really cute right?

I love anything white and ceramic.

The price tag was $16.95 for the set. Not bad, but not great.

I don't even drink hot coffee....

So I walked away.

So today at Michaels, I bumped into these twins.

See the resemblence?

Wanna know their price?

$.50 each.

Yup.

$1 for the set.

They came home with me.

And we lived happily ever after.

: )

Pinterested?

If you haven't heard...Pinterest is the new thing!

I had heard all about it, but wasn't sure what all the fuss was about.

I went to the website and saw a bunch of pretty pictures, but didn't "get it".

I get it now.

Pinterest is basically a website to help you organize all your inspirational pictures you find on the interwebz and share them with people who want to "follow you".

You can login in via Facebook and you will automatically see people's "pinboards" that you are friends with on Facebook.

It is seriously addicting!

I love perusing the internet for pretty pictures and to give me ideas for my home. And now it's the perfect place to contain all those pictures and recipes!

Check it out for yourself....it's a great time waster!

If you're interested in following my pinboards....CLICK HERE!

I have pinboards for fashion, recipes, entertaining, organization and home decorating for each area of my home.

If you have a pinterest....share it with me! I'd love to follow you!

Happy Searching!

P.S. Only 2.5 days of school until SUMMER!!!

An answer

I had my CD3 baseline sonogram today with the RE to go ahead and begin a medicated TTC cycle.

Everything looked fine and I will begin the Femara tomorrow.

But on my way out, I thought I'd ask the nurse if she knew my endometrial biopsy results.

I told her I hadn't heard anything, so I assumed no news was good news.

She told me to head into the Dr.'s office and he would discuss it with me.

He pulled out my chart and evidently I have a luteal phase defect. We did the endometrial biopsy on CD 21, but the lining only dated at CD 16.

This, he said *could* be the reason behind my miscarriages.

He said the way to "fix" this problem is the plan he already had in place. Femara and Prometrium.

Evidently, some women produce lower quality follicles, which result in lower quality eggs. These eggs rarely are able to be fertilized, and if they do, they usually do not sustain. These lower quality follicles cause the body to not produce enough progesterone to sustain a pregnancy.

So.... the Femara (which I begin tomorrow) should produce better quality follicles and eggs and the Prometrium should beef up my lining enough to support a healthy pregnancy!

As weird as it is, this made me SO happy!!!!

I have been in a pretty major funk since the testing ended. I was relieved it was over, but was very disappointed to not have any answers and feared that we would just have loss after loss.

Now, I'm feeling *much* more hopeful!

God is good!!!

So, if you are the praying type, please be praying for us this cycle that things will go well and if the Lord wills it, will result in a healthy pregnancy and take-home baby!

On a related note, we are now currently battling Blue Cross/Blue Shield as they are flagging all of my miscarriage/hormone treatment as Infertility and refusing to cover it. We are appealing this, but the bills are coming in and they are NOT cheap! It's a bit overwhelming, but we'd appreciate prayers on this as well, that God will provide and sustain us through this financial hurdle, however it may be resolved.

Thank you all so much for your support through our journey. It truly has helped lift my spirit day after day!

The Plan, Stan

*sigh*

The testing is over!

Immediatly following the biopsy last Wednesday, the RE pulled us into his office and went ahead and formed a plan based on all the testing so far for the next 2 cycles.

So far, all tests have come back normal.

I'm not sure whether to be thankful, or not.

I'm glad everything is fine, but I wish we could've found a problem and insure we fix it for next time.

But he said that with this plan, it'll make everything from "good" to "great".

So, for the next 2 cycles we will:

CD 3 Baseline scan

Make sure everything is looking good internally to medically ovulate

CD 3-7 5 mg Femara

This will cause me to ovulate and make a better quality egg. The risk of multiples is around 10%, which is much lower than Clomid, the most popular ovulation medication. Femara is becoming more popular as it usually only produces 1 very healthy follicle, versus multiple follicles and helps build up your lining vs. Clomid that tends to thin it out

CD 10- 20 Digital Ovulation Predictor Kits

(Clear Blue Easy Digital- with the smiley faces!)

CD 12 Mid-cycle scan

This will show that I am in fact producing a healthy follicle

7 days after ovulation, begin 200 mg Prometrium

For 10 days, if pregnant, keep on until 11 weeks pregnant, if negative, discontinue use. (Prometrium is progesterone which will build up the lining and increase the chance of good implantation)

Whew.

I thought after testing I'd feel light as a feather. But now that we are looking to be "trying" again, I'm terrified. I'm worried about not "doing enough". I'm worried that we will somehow still lose another baby.

For some reason, I had it in my mind that if I went through all the testing, I'd somehow be guaranteed my healthy baby, but I'm suddenly realizing there is no such promise.

The RE said if we aren't pregnant in 2 cycles or have another miscarriage, we will do laproscopy surgery to look for endometriosis. I truly do not have believe I have that as I've had 0 symptoms.

The RE also said he didn't want to persue Baby Aspirin or extra Folic Acid at this time. If needed, down the road we can look into this but he is confident with this plan.

Please just pray for us if you will.

One, for peace and comfort during this next chapter. That we can fully trust God and his good plan despite the outcome. But we truly pray for our take-home-baby this time!

I just keep studying Phill. 4, specifically verse 6.

I'm striving to not be anxious and give all my concerns to Him.

He is above statistics. He is above modern medicine.

He is in control.

Second, for financial assistance. We were told that insurance should cover the testing, as it was diagnostic. However, we got our first insurance statement and somehow it was labeled as "infertility" which would mean totally out-of-pocket. So last month could cost thousands of dollars. Plus this next month or 2 would be even more. I left a message at the RE's office asking if it can be re-coded and haven't heard back yet. I'm prepped to fight either the billing dept or insurance, but just pray that the Lord will provide in whatever way necessary.

I never thought this road to motherhood would be so bumpy, but I just care about arriving at the destination. : )

INSANE past 24 hours...

Here's the recap.

Yesterday I was scheduled for my endometrial biopsy at 3.

I was very nervous about this procedure, since when you google about it, it is always described as "horrific torture".

So, I went in to work for a half day and was a nervous wreck.

I left at noon and went home to take my Valium at one. Doc said to take it 2 hours in advance.

I get home, let the doggies out, take my Valium and lay down as it made me sleepy.

I wake up and then go outside to water the flowers and notice I didn't see the dogs on the deck.

I then look over and see the gate we rarely use wide open.

So here I am, Valiumed up, in panic mode.

Weird feeling.

I just start running around the neighborhood, thinking of their usual spots.

Mr. Free gets home and we frantically look, but know we have the appointment in 20 minutes.

We had to go.

I'm a sobbing mess.

I'm imagining the worst scenarios with my dogs and know I'm about to be tortured in my most sensitive areas.

Thank the Lord for the Valium because I can't IMAGE how I'd be without that!

The procedure takes like 5 minutes.

It hurts.

Worse than the HSG.

My cervix wasn't cooperating. Was tight as a drum. Had to dilate and clamp it. Taking the sample HURT. I squeezed Mr. Free's hand, started crying and just prayed for my sweet little doggies.

I start feeling light-headed and nauseated, but luckily that's as far as it went.

I laid on the table for a few minutes to gain composure, but knew that it was precious time in finding my pups.

We had called animal control and rushed home to put of signs and patrol the area looking for them and talking to everyone we saw.

No one saw a thing.

I looked up different articles about finding lost dogs.

We tried every database, craigslist, facebook, etc.

I also read that the chance of finding a lost dog is 16%.

And we had 2.

I was devastated.

I cried and sobbed thinking we lost them forever.

I slept in the guest room, which is closest to the backyard with the window open praying Id hear their barks.

Nope.

I woke up this morning a sobbing mess again, a nervous wreck then got sick because I was so worked up.

And then I was supposed to go teach children.

Joy.

BUT people suggested calling the local vet. On our way to work Mr. Free called the biggest vet in the city and they said someone came in last night saying they found 2 basset hounds.

IT WAS THEM!!!

They dropped them by this afternoon and we are SO thankful to have them home!!!

We went out and got a lock for our gate and got them new shiny collars.

Our testing is now over and we have a plan.

I'll update on that next post.

But life is looking up!

I'm ready to relax!

Re-Organized Living Room

Yay! A post not related to fertility!

Thank you for bearing with me Readers.

As you can imagine, I haven't quite been myself over the last 7 months and with each loss "regular life" got harder and harder.

As Mr. Free can attest, for quite awhile our home was no where ready for company and our menu was "survival basic".

I'm slowly trying to return to normal as I'm feeling a bit more optimistic about the future.

And with that...this weekend I actually felt like cleaning and organizing!

Plus took some pictures of our living room for you all, which I hadn't yet done!

First of all, our living room is tiny.

There is no entry, you just walk straight into it.

And this is our only living space.

So it houses our TV, DVD player, computer, Xbox, PS3.

The works.

So, to help it be organized and clutter-free is tough!

This is our "faux entry".

We hung a chalkboard/dry erase board to leave notes, as well as a coat hook for our guests.

Last year we installed this new front door.

The old one was just a wood slab, and this one with the little window cutout provides so much more light!

When furnishing our house, we loved this coffee table.

We knew we wanted glass, so it'd make the room feel bigger.

BUT we didn't think about low-riding basset hounds walking underneath smearing their oily coats on it.

It never looks clean.

On top of the coffee table is my yummy almond scented candle (those are hard to find!), a tray with current magazines and a box with remotes and coasters.

Next to our hand-me-down loveseat is this little tulip side table I snatched at Target a few years ago on clearance with a candle.

I love the striped entry mat. Another Target purchase!

The entertainment center was Mr. Free's from his bachelor days.

I like it in the fact that it provides a lot of storage and even a faux mantle for the holidays.

Above we have one of our favorite wedding pictures.

On the faux mantle is some of the milk glass I've collected.

The shelves contain our entertainment necessities, but I've worked hard to make it look as nice and clutter-free as possible.

The baskets hold games, DVDs and computer equipment.

The vintage books hold the output box and my DIY tart burner.

So there you have it!

Not perfect. Not designer.

But it works for us!