Sunday, March 27, 2011

Thank You

Thank you so much for the comments, e-mails, facebook messages and prayers.
Mr. Free and I have truly felt the power of prayer.
We have been so blessed by the support we have received from so many people.
An incredibly thoughtful co-worker surprised me with these Wall Words this past week. She thought they were just the message we needed, and I couldn't agree more.

Mr. Free hung it up on our bedroom so that this message of hope will be the last thing we see at night and the first thing we see when we wake up in the morning!

Mr. Free and I will be meeting with a Fertility Specialist tomorrow to begin testing and hopefully diagnosing a problem that has lead to our miscarriages.
I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared and nervous for what could lie ahead.

As weird as it is, I am also strangely excited.
Mr. Free and I have always felt called to be parents.
We had always had interest in both biological and adopted children.
At this point, we are unsure of which way God is leading us, or whether it will be both!
We are just praying for very clear direction.

I never would have thought that I would be so open about trying to conceive a healthy child, but I pray that my transparency will be nothing but an encouragement to others.
I know I am not alone, and pray that through my openness on the situation and its struggles that I could be a blessing and encouragement to other women experiencing this extremely difficult path.

If you would, please continue to pray for Mr. Free and I as we begin this new path to parenthood tomorrow. Please pray for us to have strength, comfort and peace. Please pray for a clear problem and an easy solution. But most of all, pray for our hearts to be receptive to the path the Lord has planned for us.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

I'm here.

Sorry for the unexpected break.
Life has been hard lately.

A little over a week ago, we got a positive pregnancy test.
But, our first few betas weren't doubling like they should.
I've spent the last week researching every glimmer of hope I could in the situation.

Today I started to miscarry.

Our 3rd miscarriage in 6 months.

We are obviously heartbroken and confused.
Today I have just been in a fog thinking through our various options.
Are we ever going to be biological parents?

We have an appointment scheduled in 2 weeks with a reproductive endocrinologist.
We are going to have to go through intensive testing to see why we keep losing our babies.
I pray we get some answers.
And I pray they are an easy fix.
Like most insurances, ours doesn't cover any infertility treatments.
And we really do not have the funds to pursue them.
Or adoption.
I feel like parenthood is out of our reach.


I keep telling myself that I am right where God wants me.
It's hard.
Very hard.
But He is here with me and I am here for a reason.
As much as I want to be a mother right now, if thats not His plan, then I don't want to be anywhere else.
I know God will use us.
I know He *is* using us.

We could really use your prayers.
This is a very dark time for us right now.
And 'success' stories are appreciated as well.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Writing Letters

My generation (as a whole) kind of missed the whole 'letter writing' thing.
By the time I was sixteen most teenagers had Instant Messenger (I'm dating myself here...), Xangas, and cell phones.
Nowdays between Facebook, blogs and texting, written communication is pretty much limited to paying bills and the occasional Thank You card.

But I'm hoping to change that.
For myself at least.
May convert a few of you.

I made it one of my personal goals (101 in 1001) to write notes to people weekly.
I know that receiving a handwritten note means much more than a text or Facebook message (though these are encouraging as well!)
But it shows I was worth the money it took to buy that note and the time it took to hand write out that heartfelt message.

I want to use that to bless others around me.

For Valentine's Day, I wanted to write my sweetie a note, so I purchased these recycled blank note cards at Target for a mere $3.99.

I've stationed them on our desk in a handy spot so that weekly I will be inclined to sit down and write a little note of encouragement to someone that needs it.

Plus they are a pretty darn cute desk accessory!

So you write hand written notes?
If so, how often?

If you don't, would you join my challenge in writing notes of encouragement to people around you!

I know both you and they will be blessed by it!