Jenny Free Style

One week: A reflection

2012-02-15T16:29:00.000-08:00

Levi is one week old today!!!

Thought I'd take some time and reflect on everything that's happened this week and pass along some things that have worked for us and our little one!

Hospital stay:

This is going to sound STRANGE but I LOVED being in the hospital. Mr. Free...not so much. For me, the reassurance of knowing that there are nurses there 24 hours to help me recover from surgery and Levi to make sure he is on track was so nice. I also loved the hospital bed, solely for being able to easily sit up with it while recovering from a c section. Getting out of our bed at home is NOT so easy. At our hospital they had a huge menu and room service all day. If I wanted oreos and milk at 2? Not a problem. Yeah...that was AWESOME. I also loved the constant stream of visitors to see Levi. It was such a huge blessing. We stayed in the hospital from Tuesday night til Saturday afternoon. Mr. Free was itching to get home, but I could've stayed just a little bit longer...

Breast feeding:

Well, this hasn't quite gone according to plan. I just assumed I would breast feed, that it would hurt and be difficult, but I'd do it. Well, right after Levi was born I was SO out of it from all the meds that we just had them give him formula til the next morning when I would be coherent enough to try breast feeding. The next day we tried and he latched pretty well and we went from there. The lactation consultant at the hospital worked with us, and we have GREAT family friend who is the lactation consultant at our pediatrician's office, who came and helped as well. When we were discharged from the hospital, Levi had lost some weight, but well within the normal range. We thought we were good! But the first 24 hours at home, we noticed Levi hadn't had any poopy diapers and only 2 wet diapers. Dr. Google confirmed this to be not normal. I texted for Lactation Friend (as I will call her) and she said he should be getting at least 4 wets a day. We had a pediatrician appointment the next day and we'd come up with a game plan. We decided to nurse every 3 hours and supplement with an ounce of formula afterwards. This seemed to help, but at his week weight check he had lost even more weight. Our Lactation Friend asked about how I was feeling with nursing and I told her how it didn't really hurt, I never felt "heavy or achy". She said she thinks I have supply issue (extremely common in diabetics...our hormones are so screwed up!) So Levi has lost 10% of his birth weight and our new plan is to try a hormonal supplement to try and increase my supply, 20 minutes of nursing followed by as much formula as he would like. I hate that we are having to do that, and feel like a failure of sorts, but know he is getting SOME breast milk and that will give him many of the good things he needs and the main thing is that he is getting all the nourishment he needs to grow. If that means formula, so be it. We tried it out tonight and the little guy chugged 2.5 ounces of formula after nursing! Poor little guy has been hungry! We will see if the supplements work. No matter what, it's important he is fed.

Sleep:

I'm getting used to the whole "sleep in 2 hour chunks" thing. I've had a few breakdowns (I'm a SLEEPER) but it's getting better! I look forward to that snuggly time with him...but that darn 4 am feeding is hard to get up for! But he is well worth it!

C-Section:

My recovery has been going really well. I'm still on some pain meds and can't over do it, but overall I feel really "normal". I had my staples out yesterday (which is nothing, by the way! I totally freaked myself out about it!) and the Dr and nurses kept commenting on how perfect my incision looked! That made me feel good! Diabetics tend to not heal as well, so I was proud that I've done so well! Overall, having experienced labor and a c-section, I'm mostly Team C Section. Recovery is no walk in the park, but it hasn't been that bad! The most important thing is that Baby gets out safe and sound!

Weight Loss:

Immediately after leaving the hospital I had only lost 5 pounds. How could I only lose 5 pounds?! He was 7 pounds?! Plus all the other gunk that was in there with him! Well, once I got home I noticed my feet and hands swelling up. I had NO swelling in pregnancy at all, so did NOT care to see it now! I talked with the Dr and they said from all the IV fluids and pitocin, it is very normal. So just drink water and it'll eventually come out. So yesterday, I chugged water and peed like crazy and lost 10 pounds in 24 hours! My feet are still swollen so I know I still have water weight, but they are better, my hands are better and my belly better. So all in all I'm down 15 lbs the first week and I had gained 25 with pregnancy. With my milk supply issues, the pediatrician wants to make sure I get enough calories, so I'm not counting on being down to my pre-pregnancy weight anytime soon...

Mr. Free:

He has been amazing!!! I can't state that enough! He is SUCH an incredible Daddy! He loves his son so much and I love getting to see him in this role! He has been invaluable at home. I think he got the "nesting" bug instead of me. He's been managing everything while I recover and feed Levi around the clock. I am DREADING when he has to go back to work! I wish we could win the lottery and both be stay at home parents!

So far, we've found some things we've used for either recovery or Levi that have been invaluable. Here's what has worked well for us:

-Depends. Yup, the old people diapers. After my c section, they gave me the infamous mesh panties and pad as big as a slip and slide. Well, with my "shape", my butt felt like a pot roast with that mesh string. Not comfy. I begged my mom to go out and get me some depends, as I'd read about it on some blogs. Holy cow...amazing! They aren't nearly as "crunchy" as I thought they'd be, felt good around my incision and I don't have to worry about messing them up! They are disposable! So anyone about to have a baby...pick up a pack. Seriously.

- Lactation consultant. Seriously USE THEM!! When in the hospital, use her as much as you can. Find a pediatrician with one in house. Our Lactation Friend has been SO helpful with all our new parent questions (and we have a LOT). She has seriously been our ANGEL.

-Soothee pacifiers. At first we didn't want to use a pacy with Levi, but at the hospital he came back from the nursery for a test with one in his mouth : / We noticed later he was trying to suck on his fingers, so we quickly converted to Team Pacy. When he's a bit older it is MUCH easier to get rid of his pacy than his thumb. Plus a NICU nurse at the perinatologist said they are actually the best pacifiers and help them reduce gas and help stimulate their oral development. Bonus!

-Boppy. We brought the Boppy to the hospital with us, which I'm so glad we did. It made nursing so much more comfy in that hospital bed and visitors used it when holding him so their arms didn't get tired.

- Pampers Swaddlers. We are still planning on cloth diapering, but Levi isn't big enough for them yet. We received a few packages at a baby shower and these are by far the best. The other brands leaked out and these have a strip down the front that turn blue when its wet. Nice.

- Iphone. The iphone has been my best friend in mommyhood. During late night feedings it keeps me entertained. Plus has lots of helpful apps...like...

-iBaby Log app. This is free and looks SUPER cheesy. Like terribly cheesy. But it is actually a great tool. It helps you keep track of nursing, bottle feeds, diaper changes, feedings, doctor appointment, sleep, etc. Every mom needs this app with a newborn.

- Swaddle Me Swaddle. Levi loves being swaddled so we do this at night while he sleeps and it immediatly calms him down. Plus its easy to use. Just velcro baby up like a burrito!

- Video monitor and Snuza. I'm a nervous first time mom, so we snagged a Motorola Video Monitor on Kids Woot for just $59. It had great reviews and awesome features. We can always peek in on Levi with it (has night vision!) and is a 2 way system, so during the day if Im in there with Levi and Mr Free is elsewhere with the monitor, we can still talk. I can ask him to grab me a bottle, etc. And it always displays the temperature of his room so I can keep track if it's too hot/cold. The Snuza is a movement monitor that clips onto his diaper while sleeping. If it doesn't feel movement for 20 seconds an alarm will go off. Now, this isnt to say it can prevent SIDS, but sometimes baby's get into such a deep sleep they "forget" to breathe, and if the Snuza goes off, we can rush in and wake him up. We actually had a false alarm with it our second night home. It had just turned sideways and wasnt on his stomach anymore. Holy cow...we had never moved so fast! I yelled "SNUZA!!!" and jumped out of bed you would never know I just had abdominal surgery! Luckily all was well. It definitely helps me sleep at night.

- Swing. We bought a little travel swing on clearance at Target before he was born and it has been great! It seems babies either love/hate the swing. Luckily, ours likes it. It gives us a place to put him other than his crib so we can do something with our hands for a few minutes. He's a baby that likes his car seat and car rides too. Just likes movement.

So...that's our week! We had a great Valentine's Day with our new little Valentine. We just relaxed, ordered in some sushi and snuggled with Levi. Definitely memorable.

I can't believe he has already been here for a week!

Levi's Birth Story

2012-02-12T20:30:00.000-08:00

Levi Patton Freeborn

February 8, 2012

7 lbs. 10 oz.

20 inches long

The long story:

An induction had been decided due to my blood sugars hitting major resistance since 34 weeks. The plan was to do an amnio at 37 weeks and if lungs were mature, induce. If not ready, wait and week then induce.

We did amnio (NEVER AGAIN!) and sure enough, not ready.

So the doctor scheduled the induction for February 8 at 6 a.m. at 38 weeks 1 day.

Had weekly appointment that week at 37 weeks 6 days and hadn't made any more progress (1 cm, 70% effaced) so OB decided for us to come in the next night for Cervidil before beginning pitocin next morning)

So, on the 7th I went to work like normal (which was strange), had the car packed and after work headed to the hospital!

We checked in at 6 p.m. on February 7th and got the Cervidil placed in at 6:45 after blood work, the IV put in and to be checked (again no more progress).

At around 7:30 my mom and sister visit and we hang out for about 15 minutes, and then I puke. Pretty sure it was from nerves.

Right after the barf fest, our best friends the Clarks come and visit. Nathan carefully monitors my contractions and gives his expert opinions : )

At this time I get really crampy and ask for some Tylenol.

At 8:30 I get the Tylenol and around 9 our guests leave so we can rest.

At 9:30 I get a sleeping pill to rest up for the big day.

Though the sleeping pill helped, I think nerves kept me awake.

And then I got even more crampy and rhythmic contractions.

At midnight I can no longer sleep through them so I was given some morphine to help me rest.

This did help me sleep, but baby didn't care much for it.

Nurses came in and had me switch positions to sleep in and baby was fine.

At 5 a.m. we are awake and the Cervidil is removed.

I feel woozy and throw up (once again) and hop in the shower.

At 5:45 I was allowed to eat a light breakfast (since Im diabetic..one of the few perks!)

and given nausea meds.

Again, at 6:00 am, I puke.

After that, the OB comes in and begins pitocin with the antibiotic since I'm Group B Strep positive.

I'm still feeling woozy.

At 6:30 the OB breaks my water (not very comfy...)

Around 7 I heard Anesthesia at the door, so I go ahead and ask for my epidural while they are there.

At 8 oclock I begin eating Popsicles and ice chips, getting very thirsty.

Not feeling any pain at this point, but still woozy and now itchy.

I'm able to sleep for 2 hours.

At 10:30 I am checked and now at a 3. Making some progress

At noon, still a 3. I start to get major pain and pressure down there, so they give me a bolus of pain meds.

At 1 I'm feeling nausea again so given more Zofran.

At 1:30 I am now between 3 and 4 cm, baby very low.

At 2:20 I am in lots of pain "down there" and ask for more pain meds, which they gave me another bolus.

At 3:30 I'm checked again and still no progress. The nurses start to talk about possible C-Section. They are concerned about baby's size.

My contractions had been inconsistent the entire time. They are thinking body just isn't cooperating.

At 4:45 the pitocin is upped to its max in hopes of pushing me beyond a 4.

At 5:30 I have this huge amount of pressure, like I need to take the biggest poop ever. Nurse is encouraged that I may have made some progress.

Nope...still a 3-4.

At 5:45, the pressure is unbearable. I asked for more meds and they gave me a morhpine boost.

At 6:15, I talk to nurses and OB about C-Section. They said that I've had the most Pitocin I can and still can't get past the 3-4 cm range, after 12 hours of Pitocin.

I have had irregular contractions the entire time.

The OB (who is VERY anti- c section) starts to think its going to happen at some point.

That if I'd like to continue laboring into the next day, I can and see what happens.

I am so miserable, I was telling Brian "never again, this is our only child".

We decide to give it another half hour and if I've made even a little progress, decide to keep laboring.

If no, progress, go ahead and proceed with C-Section.

At 6:45, get checked.

No progress.

OB declares it "Failure to Progress"

C-section here we come!

At 7 the anesthesiologists come in and prep me for spinal.

By 7:15 I am wheeled back to O.R.

Because of the pain meds and morphine boosts I'd had, I am having a very hard time staying awake.

They do the "poke test" on me to see if I'm numb and I can feel everything. Luckily they upped the meds and I'm fully numb.

Brian is suited up and comes into be with me.

Through out the procedure I am falling asleep and trying to wake back up....not wanting to miss the good stuff!

I feel LOTs of pulling and tugging. Very strange feeling.

He had gotten pretty low in the canal so they were having to yank him back out.

A heart monitor had been on him the whole time and I just kept listening to the heart beat for reassurance that our baby was OK.

Suddenly I don't hear the heart beat and start to worry. I ask Brian if Baby is Ok. He responded, " Can't you hear the baby crying?!"

At 7:35 p.m. the OB holds him up and proclaims, "It's a boy!!!"

Everyone is so excited!

Right then I fall asleep.

I saw a glimpse of him and was out.

Brian asks, " Did you hear that? It's a boy!"

And I responded "Yup."

(Have it on video...pretty funny)

After that I was out.

I remember feeling them stitch me up a bit and saying "Ouch. That hurts. Ouch" But then I'd fall back asleep.

When I wake up I'm in recovery and they are hooking me up with a morphine booster pack.

My incision is really burny and stingy at that point.

I look over and Brian is giving Levi his first bath and dressing him.

They said he weighed 7 lb 10 oz. (we were shocked! Everyone thought at LEAST 9 pounds!) and 20 inches long.

He got an 8 then 9 on his apgars and his first blood sugar was 71!

He was a healthy baby boy!

This whole time we have our family and friends filling the waiting room and I realize Brian hadn't gone to tell them the baby's sex yet!

(I asked that we tell the name when they come see him, so I can be there!)

Brian goes out and tells everyone it is a healthy baby boy and everyone is so excited!

We then get wheeled to our Mom and Baby room.

I am still so out of it, that the nurses asked to give him a bottle to ensure his blood sugar stays up as they are concerned of it crashing. I consented that he get formula until the next morning when I am more with it and can try nursing.

We first bring the grandparents in and Brian has a birthday cake he decorated

(We ordered a blank chocolate balloon cake from Costco and bought pink and blue icing to decorate appropriately!)

This is how we told people our new little man's name.

Levi Patton Freeborn

Levi- Brian suggested this name years ago when we first started "trying". We both loved it.

Patton- My maiden name. In honor of my Dad who passed away when I was 6.

After the grandparents we had everyone else fill the room.

Everyone took turns loving on Levi and sharing our extreme joy.

I couldn't believe he was here!

He was healthy!

He was adorable!

I am SO exhausted I fall asleep around 11 with a room full of guests. I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer.

We stayed in the hospital for 3 more days and had constant visitors.

It was SUCH a blessing to see just how many people love Levi already!

We came home yesterday and have been adjusting to being new parents.

Brian is SUCH an amazing father.

It makes my love for him grow to a whole new level.

Thank you everyone who has prayed for us and with us during a journey to parenthood. It had its ups and downs but the end result is amazing. We are so blessed God chose us to be Levi's parents!

He is such a good and adorable baby!

We love him SO much!!!

Last post before Baby!!!

2012-02-07T07:37:00.001-08:00

How far along? 38 weeks!!!

Matenity clothes? Most certainly. However...I have rebelled in my last few weeks against maternity shirts. I am so over them. I HAVE to wear maternity pants, no way around that, but luckily I have lots of LONG pre-pregnancy shirts that I have been wearing. I just miss my old clothes.

Sleep? Not so much. My left hip (which I've always had problems with) has been hurting SOO bad. It hurts to sleep on it, it hurts to sleep on the other hip, even with a plethoria of pillows. I think it's just the nature of this stage of pregnancy. Preparing me for being up with a newborn. : )

Best moment of the week(s)?

- Everything is set up for baby. Everything is hung on the walls, the bags are packed, house is clean. We are ready!

- Got my "mom" haircut. My best friend and I had a girls day and went to the salon, shopping and Indian food! My hair was SO long and thick that it took forever to dry! I knew that with a newborn, something easy is what I needed! I really like the change!

- Knowing FOR SURE when Baby Free will be here! We are scheduled for induction at 6 am on February 8 (my best friends birthday!). Baby's lungs weren't ready for induction last week, as originally scheduled, but Baby WILL be here no later than February 8!

What I miss? I truly have enjoyed being pregnant. I feel very blessed to have been able to carry this child. But, now that the end of pregnancy is drawing near, there are a few things I told Mr. Free I am looking forward to, including:

- Sleeping on my tummy. Oh have I've missed that!

- Deli meat. I have already "ordered" a Mr. Goodcents sub after delivery!

- Non-itchy skin! I have a horrid rash on my stomach that itches SOOO bad! Dr. said it should go away after delivery.. I can't wait!

What I'm looking forward to?

- Meeting Baby Free! I can't believe Wednesday we will meet him/her! And I can't wait to find out if it's a him or her as well!!! I am so looking forward to seeing Baby's face for the first time. I can't wait to see if Baby has lots of hair like the ultrasound techs have said, and to see if the hair is red, brown or blonde! I can't wait to see if Baby Free has super chubby cheeks like they look on the ultrasounds. I just can't wait to meet this child! I'm also looking forward to seeing Mr. Free as a Daddy. I know I'm going to fall in love with him all over again.

Milestones?

Being full term!

We are going in TONIGHT to start the induction!!! So crazy! We will begin with Cervidil at 6, give me a big ol sleeping pill. Early tomorrow morning get an epi, pitocin and break my water. My OB is confident Baby Free will arrive tomorrow sometime!

I'm pretty nervous about the whole labor thing but know that God has brought us through this incredible and often scary journey to parenthood and that He will see us through to the other side! Can't wait to meet this precious child He has planned for us. It's so crazy...I'm going to be a Mommy!!!

The Plan, Stan

2012-01-27T05:12:00.000-08:00

So...on Monday, we had another BPP and growth ultrasound.

At 35 weeks, 6 days, Baby Free was clocking in at 7 lb. 4 oz.

90th percentile.

Gulp.

My blood sugars have still been all over the place.

(Which means placenta function is good, but not good to have baby marinating in lots of sugar. Maybe my child will be extra sweet?!)

So...here's the plan.

Next Thursday (2/2) at 8 a.m. we have an amnio scheduled to check for lung maturity.

By noon we should have results.

Peri said we need a number above 70.

If it is....we will head to the hospital to induce!

I asked about statistics as this would mean Baby Free coming into this world at 37.5 weeks (which is pretty standard for diabetic pregnancies).

He said he'd give a 70% chance that baby's lungs will be ready. If they aren't...we will induce one week later.

He said with induction, and it being my first, there's a 25% chance of it leading to a c-section.

The "scheduled" induction time is at 3:00 on 2/2. They will most likely begin with a 12 hour dose of cervidil. Then around 3 a.m., if cervidil did it's job, we will begin the pitocin. When Dr. gets in around 8, she will break my water.

The nurse said she would "guess" Baby Free would be here around dinner time on Friday (2/3).

Granted, sometimes the cervidil needs to be done twice (which would be 24 hours of just that) or baby doesn't react well to pitocin, so a c-section is needed. So lots of variables.

But I'm so excited to meet our chubby-cheeked child!

The peri and doctor agree that it's safer for both of us to get baby out as long as baby is ready. The longer baby is in there, the harder my blood sugars are to control.

The longer baby is in high glucose, the fatter baby gets and harder their own pancreas has to work, which could result in a NICU stay for hypoglycemia.

Mr. Free and I have seen God's hand throughout this entire pregnancy.

I am nervous about all these events (amnio! pitocin!), but know that Mr. Free and I have faced some scary procedures through these past 2 years and God brought us through them just fine.

I know He is leading the path to meeting our little miracle!

On a good note, I've been having some on and off contractions, so a true blessing would be if Baby Free decided to come on their own before Thursday!!! Praying, praying, praying!!!

Our Changing Station Crib Topper

2012-01-16T09:08:00.000-08:00

Since our nursery is small, I knew we wouldn't have room for a traditional changing table.

And I was OK with that.

I googled all over for options and stumbled upon this

The Oeuf Changing Station.

I loved the modern look and simplicity of design.

I did not like the price however.

$249.

Gulp.

So, I put Mr. Free and Grandpa Free on a mission.

This past weekend during one of my baby shower's, Daddy and Grandpa made this masterpiece.

Mr. Free thought adding some storage on the side would be beneficial for our small space.

We tested it out with the cloth diapers and they fit perfectly.

However, for the first bit we are starting with disposables and regular disposable wipes as we were gifted a TON.

Everything fits perfectly!

Look at all that storage!

I am thrilled with the results and so glad to have a custom solution for our nursery!

And the price?

Materials came out to a little less than a quarter of the Oeuf price!

And on Friday, the middle school art teachers threw Mr. Free a baby shower and gifted him some money for the baby. Mr. Free used that money to build this! Thank you art teachers!

Baby Free could be here as soon as about 2 weeks! Luckily things are coming together nicely!

I can't wait to meet my chubby cheeked baby!

A little overwhelmed.

2012-01-12T17:04:00.000-08:00

Baby Free 34 weeks 2 days

6 lb. 3 oz.

Well, we met with the perinatologist today to review blood sugars as well as a growth ultrasound and biophysical profile.

Baby looked great.

Turns out our kid has LONG hair. Crazy.

One kidney looks normal, other kidney measuring 7.2 mm. Doctor said that he would be concerned if it was over 10 mm, so he thinks it'll be fine following birth.

But...baby is measuring big. 87th percentile.

Borderline macrosomia.

Macrosomia is very common in diabetic pregnancies and simply means a big baby.

My blood sugars have been GREAT through out pregnancy, but the last 2 weeks they have been a roller coaster. This is very normal for diabetics, but frustrating too.

With macrosomia, a risk is that the baby will be born with low blood sugar.

See, my uterus is not the 'ideal environment' since Baby is growing amidst lots of glucose. Therefore, Baby's pancreas has been working overtime to keep Baby's blood sugar normal.

But once Baby is out, their pancreas may still be in 'over drive' and cause low blood sugar.

The perinatologist said that if this occurs, it could mean Baby is in NICU for a few days after delivery.

He said he thinks the best option is that in 2 weeks (gulp) have an amnio to see if Baby's lungs are ready for birth.

If Baby's lungs are ready.... Baby will be induced.

He said as long as Baby's lungs are good, it would be better for Baby to be out, then in.

The closer to 40 weeks we get the chance of stillbirth can increase and other complications.

He really wants a vaginal delivery as it will help Baby's lungs.

So we may have a baby in 2.5 weeks!

If Baby's lungs aren't quite ready, we will postpone the induction until they are.

All this was hard to hear.

First of all, this is SOON!!

MUCH sooner than I had thought!

Also, I can't help but feel overly guilty.

I wish my blood sugars were better the last few weeks...I've really been trying.

Thinking of our sweet baby in NICU just tears me up.

(Now I know, the NICU is a wonderful place and if this is where my child needs to be, then by all means that's whats best)

The thought of an amnio freaks me out.

The thought of bringing baby into this world in less than 3 weeks freaks me out.

The thought of Baby struggling after birth freaks me out.

Now, I am so, so excited to meet our sweet baby.

I just didnt anticipate hearing all this today.

I just have to wrap my mind around it all.

Please be praying that Baby Free's lungs will be ready when they should and that at birth Baby's blood sugars will be steady. I really want to have Baby near after birth, but just want Baby to be healthy.

So...anyone else have any amnio or induction advice? I'd sure appreciate it!

Week 34

2012-01-10T18:31:00.000-08:00

How far along? 34 weeks

Maternity clothes? Yup. Though I'm rebelling and wearing some non-maternity clothes that are super long just to shake things up. Like the shirt above...

Sleep? Pretty good. Again, doing the hip toss n' turn but that's the new normal.

Best moment of the week?

It's been a pretty quiet week here, which has been a blessing. I've enjoyed just spending time with Mr. Free, our family and friends. I know life is going to change (for the better!) in a few weeks so I'm just savoring this time.

Food cravings? Still orange juice. Mmmmm.....

Gender? We'll find out soon!

Belly button in or out? Still in! It's about to bust, but it's still in!

Movement? Definitely. As baby is starting to run out of room it's starting to get a bit uncomfortable. Baby likes my right side so most of the fluid is on the left. So when Baby moves, there isn't much cushion. But I love it!

What I miss? It's weird. Pregnancy just seems like the new "norm" for me. I have a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that in a month or so I won't be pregnant anymore! I did tell Mr. Free I'm looking forward to sleeping on my stomach and a sub sandwich : )

What I'm looking forward to? Thursday we will get to see our sweet baby's face again! I can't wait! Then Friday the music teachers in the district are throwing me a baby shower and then Saturday is my family and friends baby shower! This baby is so loved!

Milestones? Being 34 weeks! Sunday I saw my mother-in-law and she asked if the baby had dropped. I said I had no idea. Then, my mom texts me and said that at church that morning she noticed it looked like the baby had dropped. This week at work I've had half a dozen people remark the same thing! I will say that when I sit it feels like Baby is more on my lap than normal. I'm *praying* Baby Free is making progress...since I will have to be induced by 39 weeks it would be awesome if Baby would be ready to go!

Week 33

2012-01-04T18:17:00.001-08:00

How far along? 33 weeks 1 day

Maternity clothes? Umm....yeah.

Sleep? Pretty good. Still tossing and turning and throwing in a bathroom break again. Plus I've started the weird vivid dreams again.

Best moment of the week?

1. Seeing Baby Free again. (Notice I say this every week?!) Even though it was a regular ol' ultrasound (not the level 2 3D ones from the peri) it was still so neat to see our little one. For the 3rd week in a row Baby was playing with their foot. Again, bringing the foot up to the forehead, then grabbing the foot with their hand and playing with it. So super cute. And baby was practice breathing like crazy! Which is quite reassuring!

2. Ringing in the New Year! We had a great group of friends over and we munched on some goodies, chilled in our new basement and watched the ball drop. I'm totally excited for what all 2012 has to offer!

Food cravings? Let's see.... taquitos. You know, the boxed frozen ones from the grocery store? Yeah, I've had a serving like every day...

And fruity drinks. Like orange juice or smoothies.

Gender? The Dr. says one or the other... : )

Belly button in or out? Still in! Barely!

Movement? Oh yeah. More like rolls then definite kicks. It seems where I feel the most movement is where baby's butt is. They must be shiftin all around.

What I miss? Still nothing. Feel very blessed to be in this stage of life!

What I'm looking forward to? Our next baby showers next week! And we get another 3D growth ultrasound in a week and I'm so excited to see baby's face again!

Milestones? Being this far! 33 weeks....a month from full term!!!

On a complete side note.... I am having the most bipolar feelings about labor. *Most* likely this child be induced between 38-39 weeks. That's the typical protocol for diabetic moms. Some days/moments I am so stoked for labor. I'll view it as a rite of passage and am excited to see what my body can do. Then some days/moments I am in an utter panic thinking I can't do it! I am such a wimp and can't handle pain at all! Plus I have crazy anxiety to begin with so just don't know if I can do all this!

But I want my baby here safe so know *something* has to happen to get this child here!

Is this thought process normal?

Any reassuring thoughts? : )

Diapering: Our Plan

2012-01-02T18:01:00.001-08:00

So, Mr. Free and I are in no way experts. Obviously.

But we've done our research, and *so far* this is our plan to diaper our little one.

Our goals?

Frugality!

Comfort!

Fashion!

Since I will not be a permanent stay-at-home momma, but will luckily be home with this baby for the first 6 months, we've decided oncloth.

But in returning to work, we know it'd have to be an easy process for our nanny or provider. (Still have to figure that out...so much to do!!!)

So after much research, we decided to go with One Size Pocket Diapers.

One sized pocket diapers are pretty pricey, but will last throughout their diapering days. They grow with the child and fit babies 10-35 lbs.

This was appealing with our teeny house and teeny nursery, to not have 18+ diapers in 4+ sizes to store.

With one sized diapers, you have the option of aplix (velcro) or snaps. While the aplix would probably be most user-friendly, they can wear out over time. The snaps are much more sturdy. So in the name of frugality, snaps won.

Another appeal of the one sized pockets, is the pockets! 'Pocket' refers to the pocket built into the back of the diaper to stuff with inserts.

Most diapers come with 2 inserts. A 'newborn' and 'regular'. BumGenius comes with microfiber inserts, but many rave about the bamboo inserts.

If your baby is a heavy wetter, you can stuff with both inserts. If they aren't and you want a trimmer fit, you can just use one.

I really like how it can be customized for your child.

We have registered at Buy Buy Baby and one thing that sold us on them over Babies R Us is that they carry the BumGenius 4.0's IN STOCK!!! Babies R Us they are online only. I'm hoping to receive a few as presents which would help us with our stash!

In the one sized world, BumGenius is probably king. They are the most widely available and popular.

Our plan is a stash of 18-24. If we have more, the better.

We registered for 18 BumGenius 4.0s at Buy Buy Baby.

We have also heard great things about Sunbabies, Alva Babies and Kawaii's. These Chinese-made diapers are a FRACTION of the cost of BumGenius.

BumGenius one-sized pockets are $17.99/diaper. (Thankfully Buy Buy Baby has their 20% off coupons regularly, making them around $14.50!)

But the Chinese-made selection range from $6-9/diaper and get a range of reviews. Some think they are better than BumGenius, some think not so much. I think a lot of it depends on the shape of your baby and which brand fits the best to control leaks.

Black Friday offered some GREAT deals and I snagged 13 one sized Kawaii's and 3 Bum Genius 4.0's.

We received 2 more BumGenius diapers at my shower, and then scored 4 more Bum Genius diapers on clearance at Cotton Babies during their Seconds Sale. (These diapers supposedly have minor defects, but I have yet to find them!)

So our current stash sits at 21 diapers and have only spent $200!

Since the one-sized usually don't fit babies well until they are 10+ pounds, we decided to just use disposables until they fit versus buying a newborn stash. Since we have no idea what the size of our baby will be, we feel this will be the most frugal choice.

Also, the disposables will give us a chance to segway into parenthood before laundry overload begins.

So...what about laundry?

Most usually wash their diapers every other day. Obviously the more diapers you have, the less laundry you have to do...but for the 'stink factor' I think every other day will be a good rule of thumb.

For laundry, most cloth mamas use wetbags vs. systems like a diaper genie. Wetbags keep the contents inside, but breathe so that there isn't ammonia or stink build up. Most have a home wetbag and a travel wetbag for changing while out and about.

We purchased 3 PlanetWise wetbags as they have great reviews and come in adorable prints. 2 are in the nursery in trash cans for everyday laundry, and 1 travel wetbag in size medium for the diaper bag.

The newborn poops is water-soluble so you don't need to do a thing to prep them.

Once baby is onto solid food, the poop becomes...well...more solid.

That is where a diaper sprayer comes in handy.

We registered for one at Buy Buy Baby and hope to get one.

This sprayer attaches to the water line in the tank of your toilet and hangs on the side of the tank.

When baby has a dirty diaper you can just hold the diaper over the toilet and rinse of what needs rinsing.

Then throw diaper into the pail and wash when its time.

Now with laundry detergent...

You can't use just any laundry detergent as it can cause repelling issues.

Here are the most recommended:

Rockin' Green

Original Tide Powder

Dropps

Charlie's Laundry Soap

or make your own...which is what I plan to do.

In food processor, combine:

1/2 c. Baby Oxyclean

1 c. Borax

1 c. Washing Soda

I've stocked up on Dropps when they were on clearance and registered for lots of Baby OxyClean as I have all the other ingredients for the detergent on hand.

Now...what about wipes?

At first, I planned to stick with disposable wipes. But then... I changed my mind. If we are already doing laundry every other day for the diapers, we might as well have cloth wipes and throw them in with them as well.

BumGenius has their own brand of flannel wipes that we were able to register for at BuyBuyBaby as well. We have received 2 packs of them so far, so that totals at 24 cloth wipes. As far as getting the baby "clean"... you can either just wet the wipe with plain water, or there are a number of homemade "wipe solutions" to clean em up.

What about diaper rash cream?

Well, from what I've read, babies who are cloth diapered experience diaper rash much less than those in disposables.

When you do need to use rash cream, you cannot use traditional creams (desitin, butt paste, etc.) as these will create a waxy layer on the cloth causing the liquid to repel (not good!).

A few types you can use include California Baby (available at Target and Buy Buy Baby) and CJ's BUTTer.

I registered for some California Baby and ordered a few samples of the CJ's.

The CJ's is awesome because it's not JUST diaper cream. It can be used for all sorts of skin ailments and comes in fun flavors! They smell awesome!

Now obviously, we haven't tried this all out yet but I've done lots of research and can't wait to give it a whirl.

The savings is so motivating and the cute little fluffy diapers are inspiring as well.

I will be sure to update you on how the process goes!

Does anyone else cloth diaper or plan to?

I'd love to hear insight!

Goodbye 2011

2011-12-31T07:34:00.000-08:00

This morning I've just sat and looked through my blog posts from the last year. What a roller coaster ride!

But I see God's hand in every step.

2011 started with just experiencing my 2nd miscarriage. I was devastated and in a dark place. I had hope though that 2011 would be "our year".

3 months later, we were pregnant again...only to lose that one too.

As hard as all of that was, I felt God gently leading me by the hand for the next part of our journey. Our reproductive endocrinologist fell into our lap. We were able to see him immediately and begin testing.

We quickly began hormone therapy in hopes that would help me carry a baby to term.

And with that first try? It worked.

I was terrified for the testing. Afraid of the pain and afraid of the results. I was afraid to 'try' again only to lose another child.

But I felt this peace that this is where God wants me.

And on June 12, 2011 we learned we were expecting our miracle.

As hard and painful and heartbreaking as that experience was, I have seen God use it several times to help others in just the past year! He has brought several women in my life that are experiencing something similar and I am able to listen, give advice and just understand! And praise the Lord, I have a beautiful miracle to share with them as well.

Mr. Free and I have been so blessed by our little baby that will be here in 6 (or less!) short weeks!

Overall, this pregnancy has been so easy. Our baby is healthy and beautiful.

I never knew if we would be able to be parents, but I'm seeing what God's plan was for us this whole time.

2011 has brought many other blessings as well:

- Mr. Free got a full-time teaching job in the district that he wanted. We both are now full-time teachers! HUGE BLESSING!!!

- God has provided to pay all our medical bills as we underwent fertility testing. I didn't know how we'd afford it, but God made it work!

- With the unexpected medical bills, we were still able to finish our basement. We had to delay the project, but we were able to pay for it every step of the way and now have a great space to fellowship with others.

- With both of us being out of school for the time being (collegiate school that is...) we've been able to spend great quality time together, with our families and with our dear friends.

God has been so good and I am so looking forward to what He has in store for 2012!!!

Weeks 31 & 32

2011-12-28T20:31:00.001-08:00

31 weeks 4 days

Christmas Eve

How far along? 32 weeks 1 day

Maternity clothes? Umm....yeah

Sleep? During Week 31 I was getting glorious sleep! Still tossing and turning, but felt SO rested. Now that I've hit Week 32, I've gone back to having a hard time being comfortable. Right when I find a position that my hips feel good, my back hurts. Then right when I find the "sweet spot", Baby starts kicking at the mattress.

Best moment of the week?

1. Christmas!!!

We had a great Christmas with all our families, filled with some quality time, great food and presents of course! It's so fun seeing our twin nieces discover the magic of Christmas. I can't wait for our own little one!

2. My birthday!

I turned 27 today and had a fantastic day. Mr. Free woke me up with some french toast. We then headed to Target to do a little shopping. Then headed to a new restaurant I had wanted to try on the Plaza. I then waddled around the Plaza with him for a few hours and wound up buying the baby a couple of cute things. We finished the evening at a local Italian restaurant that gives you a free meal on your birthday! It's been wonderful! I feel so blessed with where I am at on this birthday and am excited for the next year!

32 weeks, 1 day

My 27th Birthday

Food cravings? Orange juice! And Sonic Sunrise's. Sooo yummy.

Gender? Still don't know...

Belly button in or out? Still in! Barely!

Movement? Like crazy! The nurses always comment during the Non Stress Tests how active of a baby we have! It's hard to think that they still need to grow...I feel like there just isn't room!

What I miss? Still nothing. But I will say, I keep thinking about how I wont be pregnant forever. I'm just so used to it by now, that it blows my mind that eventually I won't be pregnant anymore. That Ill be able to sleep on my tummy and eat deli meat without second thought. So strange.

What I'm looking forward to? It's hitting me that in around 6 weeks we could be meeting our child! I am seriously SO excited for that!!

Milestones? We keep passing our NST's and Biophysical Profiles with flying colors! Baby is quite active and so entertaining to watch during the ultrasounds! This baby LOVES their feet. The last couple ultrasounds, Baby has one foot up by their face and grabbing the other foot with their hand playing with it. It is adorable!

Kick up your feet and stay awhile...

2011-12-21T09:40:00.001-08:00

Have I mentioned how much I'm loving our new space?!

For a long time I have wanted a sectional and big ol' ottoman. Our little upstairs living room could no way accomodate the sectional, and we had picked a different coffee table for that space made of glass to help it seem more spacious.

But now that I have my new family room....

I ordered this ottoman off of Walmart.com for just $79. It's nice and big at 4' by 2'. It had 108 reviews all at 5 stars, so I knew I couldn't go wrong! The top is nice and firm so you could set a plate or drink on it without it falling over. But just cushy enough to put your feet up on : )

We figure it will be nice whenever Baby Free starts toddling around, so there isn't a hard edge to hurt themselves on.

Plus I like the way it looks!

So, are you a cushy ottoman or a sturdy coffee table person?

Basement Decorating!

2011-12-19T07:39:00.000-08:00

One thing I was really looking forward to in finishing the basement was decorating it!

Our small home was pretty much all decorated, so I was stoked to have another room to decorate!

And since the rest of the house is pretty much beige, we decided to go with a slate pallate downstairs.

We had already moved the furniture in, so I did a little shopping to pick up some accessories to make it a bit more homey.

Target happened to have perfect slate colored pillows to coordinate with the walls. They were $20 for a 2 pack.

The end table, also from Target was $69. I liked the clean lines. I also picked up at Target the glossy white lamp and the white tray. I really like the neutrals and slate with pops of white. Also, picked up the vintage looking wire basket at HomeGoods for just $7.99 to hold our current magazines. But the tray was pretty necessary, so I could easily remove the items on top of the table..

Flip the top over and make it into an ottoman! How cool is that?! Thought for big game nights, it'd be great for extra seating!

I also dressed up the bookcase corner a bit. I found the white boxes on sale at Michaels for $1.99. They will soon hold baby items, like a few extra diapers and wipes for quick changes downstairs. I also nabbed the cute basket in the middle at HomeGoods for $12.99 to hold some of our favorite books. The bookcase is also holding some games for game nights and a nice big basket we already had to hold the soon-to-be overwhelming amount of toys.
I also threw a throw blanket we already had and a pillow to help dress up the hand-me-down recliner.

Love the details of the basket and the pop of white in the boxes!
We definitely needed a back door mat for wiping feet/paws. I loved this mat at Target ($25) since it had the browns and grays in it.

I had seen lots of 'Family Rules' signs on Pinterest and loved the idea. I was browsing Hobby Lobby and stumbled upon this one in the clearance section. It is very sturdy and made of solid wood. Mr. Free said the "Obey Your Parents" should've been the biggest one : )

Also at Target I picked up this Starburst mirror to help break up the long wall. I like the little bit of shimmer it adds.

We also picked up at Costco a pet bed for our pooches. They are NOT allowed on the furniture downstairs so figured they needed a comfy spot to lounge too.

Mr. Free also got the surround sound all rigged up this weekend and it is AWESOME!

Since our lives are going to change in approximately 8 weeks, and we will become much more of homebodies then we ever have been, I am so thankful for this space to be able to watch movies and play with Baby Free and not feel so crammed.

Our home is 900 square feet but the addition of the family room makes our home now 1400 square feet of living space. We keep commenting on how huge our home feels now! : )

Thanks for looking around. We absolutely love the space and plan to just veg down there for the month of January while we wait for Little One!

30 weeks!

2011-12-16T06:04:00.000-08:00

Love this one...foot to the face!

How far along? 30 weeks 3 days

Maternity clothes? Oh yes...many shirts becoming too short even.

Sleep? Better, but not nearly enough. Mr. Free and I have had a crazy week and once we get home we're staying up too late hanging out in our new family room : )

Best moment of the week?

1. Seeing Baby Free again. Mr. Free and I are getting a good idea of what this child is going to look like...these pictures are pretty consistent. Though no one can figure out who baby looks like. We've heard "exactly" like me, "exactly" like Mr. Free and even "just like" Grandpa. We will see!

2. Seeing that Baby Free is looking healthy and gaining the right amount of weight! Baby's kidneys are looking a bit better, which is a relief! Baby currently weighs 3 lbs 10 oz and is in the 57th percentile. Baby is also head down!

3. Finishing the basement! It is finished! SUCH a relief! Mr. Free and I anticipate most of January will be spent down there relaxing, waiting for our next "project" due in February!

Food cravings? Totally depends on the day/moment. Yesterday it was Mexican...again. We will see what today holds!

Gender? Still don't know...

Belly button in or out? Still in!

Movement? Definitely. It's now VERY visible from the outside. In the evenings I'll just sit and watch my belly change shapes and move all over. So crazy!

What I miss? Still nothing. Feel very blessed to be in this stage of life!

What I'm looking forward to? Now that I know this child will be here in 9 or less weeks, I am just SO excited to meet him/her! I can't wait to see what baby truly looks like. I can't wait to hold him/her. I can't wait to have all our family and friends meet this child!

Milestones? Now starting weekly appointments with Biophysical profiles and Non Stress tests. Knowing we have 9 or less weeks is crazy! But we're crazy excited!

It is finished!

2011-12-14T07:48:00.000-08:00

Yesterday the carpet fairies came and finished the last step in our basement project!

Mr. Free and I were so excited ALL DAY and couldn't WAIT to get home and see how it looked!

Here was Mr. Free's first reaction...

Needless to say, we've both missed having carpet.

Hardwood is beautiful and easy to wipe up messes, but nothing is as comfy as some plush carpet underfoot.

We wasted no time once we got home and saw the finished product, and started moving in furniture.

Mr. Free's parents delivered our brand new sectional.

It had rained all day, but let up just in time to bring it over.

Mr. Free immediatly put together the new TV stand so he could get his prize up and running.

The TV stand is actually pretty great quality considering it was $85 at Target!

And fits the TV size perfectly!

I put together the bookcase (which matches the TV stand) and we brought out a hand-me-down recliner to put in the corner.

The bookshelves will be full of DVDs, board games and toys for baby.

We also brought down Baby Free's bouncy seat. Figure this side of the room will become Baby Central.

Santa also delivered our new curtains a little early.

I love the way they look!

(Ignore the laminate that needs cleaning after the carpet installers...I was too excited to snap some pics first!)

This is the TV sitting area.

The couch on the left is a full-size couch that Mr. Free's parents had given us a few years ago (it's a sleeper too!)

So with that and the sectional we will be able to comfortably seat 8-9 for movie nights!

Mr. Free ordered his new 7.1 surround sound and let me order the ottomoan for the seating area.

I think it'll look great and will offer a cushy place to put up our feet and if baby is tottering around they won't hurt themselves if they fall against it.

I have lots of decorating to do now, but am TOTALLY up for the "challenge"!

And for those wondering, to finish our approx. 511 square feet of living space came in at $4,007 for all materials. This includes every tool, screw, and piece of wood we had to buy. We saved THOUSANDS in labor and are thrilled with the results!

Basement

2011-12-12T08:56:00.001-08:00

We are thisclose to being done with the basement!
Mr. Free has worked his booty off for the past 3 months! And he has done a FABULOUS job!

Tomorrow our carpet is being installed and then we can move in furniture and start decorating!

I will do another post with the step-by-step of the transformation, but here is the Mood Board for the final product.

This space is approx. 511 square feet with the primary purpose of a family room.

Here's the break down:

1. Swiftlock Curly Walnut Laminate flooring- Our basement is a walkout so we wanted a landing that went between that door and the door to the laundry room. The dogs and cat have their food and bed in the laundry room so frequently walk the path of the back door and to the laundry room. When it's muddy we thought this would be much easier to clean than carpeting.

2. Berber carpet from Lowe's- This is one of their in-stock options. We chose this because it will hide lots of dirt and be easier to keep clean with 2 dogs, a cat and a baby.

3. Tufted ottoman- Walmart. This is on order, should be in in a couple weeks. I definitely like the look, the reviews and the price. Think it's a stylish option with a little one on the way.

4. Sectional- Nebraska Furniture Mart. We loved the look of this sectional and it was a bargain for the price. It appears it will hold up well with being used often.

5. Bookcase- Target. Simple, nothing elaborate. Will hold some board games, DVDs and a basket of toys for the tot.

6. Family Rules sign- I saw this on clearance at Hobby Lobby and am really considering getting it. Think it'd be cute and a good reminder for us all...

7. Cream throw- Target. Pretty sure Santa is bringing this for me. It's super soft and will be so nice to snuggle with!

8. Cream furry throw pillow- Pier One. I've hinted at this to Santa as well. It is sooo soft.

9. Espresso baskets- Will use this to contain magazines, dog toys and baby toys.

10. Arc lamp- I bought this YEARS ago at Target and it's still been in the box! Think I will finally bust it out for this space!

11. Chocolate curtains- Target. We have a large window next to the walk out door and loved the quality and print of these curtains.

12. TV and TV stand- TV Walmart, TV stand Target. For Mr. Free's super hard work, he got the TV of his choice. The TV stand matches the bookcase. Not the best quality, but we will have to save up a bit for a solid wood TV stand that will hold Mr. Free's new TV.

We are SO excited for this new space! It will so wonderful to be able to have more people over at our house and a wonderful new room for baby to play in!

The Nursery

2011-12-08T07:03:00.000-08:00

The nursery is 90% done!

With our first shower last weekend, I knew I wanted it mostly put together so that any gifts we received could be organized and put away.

Mr. Free and I decided early on that we wanted the nursery to be neutral, cheery and modern. We wanted to be able to use it with multiple kiddos, regardless of their gender.

We also aren't "theme" people, so we decided to stick with a color palatte and mix and match fabrics and textures.

Here was the idea board I had come up with a few months ago

First, we chose a paint color. I can't even tell you the *exact* color, because it wound up being a custom color.

Mr. Free and I were in a huge hurry when we picked it out and ended up telling them the wrong color.

Luckily, Lowe's is awesome and did what they could to fix it.

This paint does photograph different in different lights. It's an aqua color, but in bright light it looks brighter and with soft light it looks more seafoam.

The nursery walls were covered in 2 coats of wallpaper and paint. I spent several evenings steaming and peeling off the wallpaper. Fun times.

Over Thanksgiving I came down with the stomach flu, which put me way behind on the nursery progess. Mr. Free was awesome and busted his hiney to paint the nursery and keep on his schedule with the basement. Love that man.
We had bought the Zig Zag rug a few months prior, and my mom and I redid the glider a month or two ago as well.

Once the paint dried I was antsy to get the crib set up, so Mr. Free pulled a late nighter and set it all up for me. I was so thrilled to see furnitue in the room!

A few nights later I pulled together the rest of the accessories we had for the nursery.

I put the crib bedding on, pulled in the nighstand for next to the glider, and stocked the bookcase.

The crib will have a changing tray that sits on top for changing the baby. This room is TINY so there just wasn't the space for a changing table. Come January, and the basement is finished and the holidays are over...this will be Grandpa and Daddy's new project. But it will look something like this, with the changing pad tucked inside it.

By the way, I love love the crib.

It's the ParkLane Baby Mod crib from Walmart.

It was a little more than I wanted to spend ($300), but it was the only big purchase we needed for the room. The rest of the furnishings were either repurposed from around the house or free.

Plus, it had the clean lines I wanted and the extra storage drawer on the bottom.

The construction of it is great too and it got fantastic reviews.

After the shower I got busy organizing the bookcase. Baby Free will be cloth diapered, so I have all the supplies handy on the shelf, which is right by the crib for changes. Baby Free also has a good start on their book collection, their own Scentsy and an impressive stash of stuffed animals.

The glider is perfect for the space. I snagged that little blanket on clearance at Target a few months ago and loved the geometric print. Mr. Free's aunt got us the Basset Hound stuffed animal years ago, which will be *perfect* for our little one...as they will instantly have a Basset Hound brother and sister upon arrival. : )

I like that the glider has the pockets on the side too...I've already loaded it with breastfeeding accessories which will handy.

I love the way the dresser turned out. I knew I wanted a yellow dresser and luckily a friend on Facebook had one to give away! It took about 4-5 coats of this lemon yellow paint, but I love the way it turned out! And it fits perfectly in the closet! Baby has the start of their wardrobe, which I know will double in size when Baby is here and we know whether to fill it with pink or blue!

So that's what we have so far!

We still need to hang things on the walls (a couple of DIY projects I've saved for January). And need a few more storage baskets for the closet shelves up high to hold blankets and such.

Then we are done!

I feel so much better that if Baby Free were to come early, we are nearly set!

Maybe this is that whole "nesting" thing I've heard about?!

28 weeks!

2011-12-02T05:35:00.000-08:00

How far along? 28 weeks!

Maternity clothes? Oh yes!

Sleep? So-so. The beginning of the week was AWFUL. I had a stomach bug, and then after that battled some insomnia. The last couple nights though I've slept like a baby! Praying that's the new trend!

Best moment of the week?

* Seeing Baby Free again

* Finalizing everything with the basement (all that's left is painting and flooring!)

* Starting on the nursery! We have the wallpaper peeled, paint on the walls, paint on the dresser, the rug, glider and crib in!

Food cravings? None really. We've been SO busy wrapping up the basement and the nursery that I haven't thought much about it. We've just been grabbing quick bites to eat in between errands and chores!

Gender? Still Team Green.

Belly button in or out? Still "technically" in....

Movement? Oh yes. Starting to really see Baby's active patterns and sleepy times. Began kick counts this week too!

What I miss? Nothing : )

What I'm looking forward to? My first baby shower is this weekend! Ahhh!!! I can't wait!

Also, finishing the basement project and working on the nursery!!

Milestones? 3rd trimester! Starting kick counts and biophysical profiles weekly.

27 Weeks! I have some catching up to do!

2011-11-22T12:08:00.000-08:00

What's inside at 26 weeks
How far along? 27 weeks!

Maternity clothes? Yes siree! Even some of the maternity shirts are getting too short! Yikes!

Sleep? Not too bad. Some nights my hips hurt horribly so I toss and turn. Mr. Free has developed a good technique of surrounding me in pillows. Some nights my hips don't hurt at all and I sleep like a rock! Definitely trying to cherish those nights as I know they will be few and far between soon...

Best moment of the week (or month, I should say!)
Halloween was a blast this year. We took the doggies to trunk or treat at Mr. Free's parents church. They were dressed as a turtle and ladybug and were a huge hit! I love seeing the little ones snuggle up to them!

Mr. Free dressed as Mario and I went as a "pumpkin smuggler".

Mr. Free has been working HARD on the basement and we are almost there! We are now at the staining/painting stage and all that's left after that is flooring! Then we are done!

While Mr. Free slaves away in the basement, I've been slowly working on the nursery. The small bedroom we will be using was covered in 2 layers of wallpaper and paint, so the steamer became my best friend last week.

Underneath was pink paint..... God trying to tell us something? : )

Luckily, it is all off now so over Thanksgiving Break I can focus on painting the room and getting it pulled together! Our crib arrived this week and I'm so excited to see it put together in the room!

These are the paint colors for the room. The walls will be the aqua color and we will be painting the dresser the yellow.

Food cravings: It's still changing, but lately it's been more 'American' food. Like burgers, fries, pizza, etc.

Gender: Still Team Green!

Belly button, in or out? Technically still in, but it's definitely much much shallower.

Movement: Oh yes! Baby is getting much stronger! One of the funniest things happened last Sunday morning. Mr. Free and I were both in a deep sleep and when our alarm when off, Baby Free went bonkers! Kicking and punching! I had never felt so much movement before! I honestly think the sudden noise scared em! I hit snooze and when it went off again I put it up to my tummy and baby punched my phone. I think Baby feels the same way I do about that pesky alarm going off!

What I miss? Still nothing! I love this baby and love being pregnant!

What I'm looking forward to:

Finalizing our family room and nursery for our little one.

Next week will begin our weekly biophysical profiles to monitor our baby's growth and their kidneys (they both are still slightly enlarged). It'll be neat to see them each week.

I'm REALLY looking forward to meeting this baby on the outside! The 4D pictures are amazing and I just can't wait to hold and snuggle this child!

22 weeks!

2011-10-18T17:46:00.000-07:00

How far along? 22 weeks

Maternity clothes? All maternity. Regular shirts are far too short now.

Sleep? So- so. Hip pain is back. But I manage. Definitely all worth it.

Best moment this week?

1. Mr Free and I celebrated 9 years of being in love today. : )

We finished the first project for the nursery. Giving an existing glider rocker we had a complete makeover (blog tutorial to come). It's so fun getting things ready for our little one!

3. Our fetal echocardiogram. I wasn't sure what to expect other than it was another level 2 ultrasound, but to look closely at the heart. Luckily the tech also showed us baby again and did all the measurements along with the heart stuff. Baby measured great. Heart was fine. Kidneys have reduced from 5 mm to 4 mm which is great news. Baby weighs 1 lb 4 oz, and is in the 87th percentile. Peri is gonna keep an eye on that...may have a roly poly baby. But thats cute...and Im OK with that.

Food cravings: It varies daily. One day it was Chinese, another it was fried chicken.

Gender: Team Green!

Belly button in or out? In, but starting to become less shallow....

Movement? Yup! Daily now! The tech today said that baby's feet are up high and where the placenta is at, Im probably not feeling a ton of kicks yet, mainly punches. But once the placenta moves, I will feel them kicking my ribs! So crazy!

What I miss? Nothing : )

What I'm looking forward to: Mr. Free and I are having a mini babymoon this weekend.

I'm also looking forward to Viability Day in 2 weeks. (Where if anything were to happen, they'd fight to save baby's life!)

Milestones: Being more than half baked, and past the big scary ultrasounds. Baby is looking good!!!

Diapering: Our Plan

2011-10-14T09:27:00.000-07:00

So, Mr. Free and I are in no way experts. Obviously.

But we've done our research, and *so far* this is our plan to diaper our little one.

Our goals?

Frugality!

Comfort!

Fashion!

Since I will not be a permanent stay-at-home momma, but will luckily be home with this baby for the first 6 months, we've decided on cloth.

But in returning to work, we know it'd have to be an easy process for our nanny or provider. (Still have to figure that out...so much to do!!!)

So after much research, we decided to go with One Size Pocket Diapers.

One sized pocket diapers are pretty pricey, but will last throughout their diapering days. They grow with the child and fit babies 10-35 lbs.

This was appealing with our teeny house and teeny nursery, to not have 18+ diapers in 4+ sizes to store.

Another appeal of the one sized pockets, is the pockets! 'Pocket' refers to the pocket built into the back of the diaper to stuff with inserts.

Most diapers come with 2 inserts. A 'newborn' and 'regular'. BumGenius comes with microfiber inserts, but many rave about the bamboo inserts.

If your baby is a heavy wetter, you can stuff with both inserts. If they aren't and you want a trimmer fit, you can just use one.

I really like how it can be customized for your child.

In the one sized world, BumGenius is probably king. They are the most widely available and popular.

Our plan is a stash of 18-24. If we have more, the better.

We registered for 18 BumGenius 4.0s at Buy Buy Baby.

We have also heard great things about Sunbabies, Alva Babies and Kawaii's. These Chinese-made diapers are a FRACTION of the cost of BumGenius.

BumGenius one-sized pockets are $17.99/diaper. (Thankfully Buy Buy Baby has their 20% off coupons regularly, making them around $14.50!)

Black Friday offered some GREAT deals and I snagged 13 one sized Kawaii's and 3 Bum Genius 4.0's.

So our current stash sits at 21 diapers and have only spent $200!

Also, the disposables will give us a chance to segway into parenthood before laundry overload begins.

So...what about laundry?

The newborn poops is water-soluble so you don't need to do a thing to prep them.

Once baby is onto solid food, the poop becomes...well...more solid.

That is where a diaper sprayer comes in handy.

We registered for one at Buy Buy Baby and hope to get one.

This sprayer attaches to the water line in the tank of your toilet and hangs on the side of the tank.

When baby has a dirty diaper you can just hold the diaper over the toilet and rinse of what needs rinsing.

Then throw diaper into the pail and wash when its time.

Now with laundry detergent...

You can't use just any laundry detergent as it can cause repelling issues.

Here are the most recommended:

Rockin' Green

Original Tide Powder

Dropps

Charlie's Laundry Soap

or make your own...which is what I plan to do.

In food processor, combine:

1/2 c. Baby Oxyclean

1 c. Borax

1 c. Washing Soda

I've stocked up on Dropps when they were on clearance and registered for lots of Baby OxyClean as I have all the other ingredients for the detergent on hand.

Now...what about wipes?

What about diaper rash cream?

Well, from what I've read, babies who are cloth diapered experience diaper rash much less than those in disposables.

When you do need to use rash cream, you cannot use traditional creams (desitin, butt paste, etc.) as these will create a waxy layer on the cloth causing the liquid to repel (not good!).

A few types you can use include California Baby (available at Target and Buy Buy Baby) and CJ's BUTTer.

I registered for some California Baby and ordered a few samples of the CJ's.

The CJ's is awesome because it's not JUST diaper cream. It can be used for all sorts of skin ailments and comes in fun flavors! They smell awesome!

Now obviously, we haven't tried this all out yet but I've done lots of research and can't wait to give it a whirl.

The savings is so motivating and the cute little fluffy diapers are inspiring as well.

I will be sure to update you on how the process goes!

Does anyone else cloth diaper or plan to?

I'd love to hear insight!

19 weeks

2011-09-27T17:51:00.000-07:00

How far along? 19 weeks

Maternity clothes? All maternity. Ive definitely "popped".

Sleep? I'm sleeping through the night, and doing a hybrid, tummy-side sleep. It keeps me off my belly and helps my hips from being sore.

Best moment this week? Our anatomy scan and seeing Baby Free!

They measured right on track, brain, heart and spine looked great. Amniotic fluid was normal. Cord and placenta looked good. Baby was head down.

Their kidneys were both enlarged though. "Normal" is around 3-4 mm and both were measuring around 5. The perinatologist said he sees it often and is nothing to worry about but they will monitor it. I of course was a mess, thinking of something being wrong. It can also be a "soft marker" for downs syndrome, but our blood work was great and no other soft markers were presented. The chance of our baby having downs is still very very low.

From what I understand, most cases of enlarged kidneys clear up either in utero or within the first year. The baby will be monitored closely. Worst case scenario is surgery after birth to correct the problem.

The peri also mentioned he didn't see any blockages, which was good, and that progesterone can lead to kidney swelling. He said that pregnant women's kidneys are actually enlarged during pregnancy.

We know that God is perfectly knitting together this child and just pray that their kidneys are healed.

I'm praying for peace about the situation. My first instinct is to worry, worry, worry! Which isn't good for anyone!

But, I do feel great knowing all of Baby Free's vitals were great!

After the scan we went out to dinner and started our registry at Buy Buy Baby! So much fun!

Food cravings:Mexican.

Gender: Team Green!

Belly button in or out? In

Movement? Yes!!! On Sunday Mr. Free and I felt our first "outside" movement. It was awesome! The last 2 days I have felt this baby move like crazy! The tech mentioned again how much this baby moves! We've been told this a few times now...life should be interesting come February!

What I miss? Nothing : )

What I'm looking forward to: Preparing for this baby! Now that we see that they *should* be arriving this February, I cant wait to finish our registry and get our home ready for baby!

Milestones: Our anatomy scan!

First outside movement!

We appreciate your prayers that Baby Free's kidneys will correct themselves and won't require any intervention. We also appreciate prayer for peace as we just "wait and see" what is in store for our precious little one.

Week 17

2011-09-13T16:16:00.000-07:00

How far along? 17 weeks

Maternity clothes? Definitely pants, but starting to transition to shirts as well. I can wear my non-maternity stuff as long as it's really long.

Sleep? Getting better! I got some great tips on sleeping while pregnant and its certainly helped! I still can't quite get used to sleeping with pillows all around me and by morning they are all usually on the floor, but I'm tossing and turning much less and not nearly as sore!

Best moment this week?

We have baby things in our house!!!!

On Saturday night, our amazing friends Audrey and Josue and their sweet little girl Melody had us over for dinner and let us raid their basement of baby stuff! Such a HUGE blessing!

Here's the unorganized pile of amazing blessings that are currently in our guest room:

A car seat! An actual car seat!

The snap n go stroller for the car seat.

Baby baths, crib skirt, breast feeding pillow, swing.

Bouncer, baby books and maternity clothes!

Such an incredible blessing!

Food cravings: Mexican.

Gender: Team Green!

Belly button in or out? In

Movement? Early this week I hadn't really felt much, but yesterday I began feeling the baby again and it was a bit stronger than before. I can't wait for regular movement! It's such a great feeling!

What I miss? Nothing : )

What I'm looking forward to: Our level 2 anatomy scan in two weeks! We won't be finding out the sex of the baby, but I can't wait to see them again and hopefully get good news that all is well with our little one!

Milestones: We got our quad screening results back yesterday. For some reason I had in my mind that if we heard the results back soon, that'd it'd be bad news. Well, 3 days after I had my blood drawn, the OB called. I was freaking out! Being a type 1 diabetic, I didn't have any increased risk for a chromosomal problem (like downs syndrome or trisomy 18), but there is a possible increased risk for neural tube defects. Luckily, my amazing nurse Kris immediately said that all my results were negative! And I'm not a carrier for cystic fibrosis! Whew!!!

I seriously felt on cloud 9 after that! Thank you Lord!!!

Today we met with the perinatologist for the first time. I will be seeing him every 2 weeks until 28 weeks, then weekly until 36 weeks. He said that the normal quad was very reassuring with this pregnancy and the level 2 will hopefully confirm that.

The plan of action is in 2 weeks we will have the level 2 anatomy scan to look to make sure everything is developed correctly and no birth defects. 2 weeks after that, we will have our fetal echocardiogram to see a more detailed picture of the baby's heart and make sure everything is working the way it should!

I have felt so overwhelmed by everyone's support and generosity. Every little milestone with this little one is such a blessing and we just thank God so much for blessing us with this little life.

Week 16

2011-09-06T16:35:00.000-07:00

How far along? 16 weeks

Maternity clothes? Just pants, but I have worn a couple of sweaters too

Sleep? I'm normally a tummy sleeper, but this week its become uncomfortable as my belly has firmed up. All the literature says to sleep on your left side for optimal blood flow but its so uncomfortable! I wake up after an hour with a very sore left hip! I'm trying the body pillow, but it still hurts my left hip. Not sure what to do, but even if I don't sleep for the next 5 months, it is well worth it. : )

Best moment this week? This has been a FABULOUS weekend. So I have many 'bests' this week!

1. Having a great 16 week appointment today! As soon as the doppler touched my belly we could hear a strong heartbeat in the 150's. The nurse said she could hear baby moving all around too. : )

2. We completely gutted our basement! (When I say "we" I really mean Mr. Free). Mr. Free is such an amazing handyman. He has completely demoed it out and is currently working on framing our future family room! We are so excited for this additional space as we grow our family and love to entertain family and friends. (Many blog posts to come about that!)

3. We had the most incredible food weekend! It started with SantiCaliGon days this weekend. What's better than an onion blossom and funnel cake?! Then Sunday night we went to Fogo de Chao with our dear friends (I had been seriously craving some red meat...check!) and finished that off with Cold Stone. Then, this morning was the start of the infamous Pumpkin Spice Latte'! Mmmm....

4. The weather here in KC has been AMAZING!! High's in the 70's. AC is off, windows are open with the attic fan running. It's feeling like Fall which is my FAVORITE time of year!

Food cravings: Red meat and Mexican.

Gender: Team Green!

Belly button in or out? In

Movement? Last Friday I began feeling some flutters and little pokes down low. I can only feel it when Im sitting and learning slightly forward or curled up in the fetal position. Monday I was feeling it and Mr. Free pushed his hand right in to where it was at and swore he felt a little poke. I didn't believe him at first, but maybe he did! I can't wait for noticable 'outside' movement!

What I miss? Nothing : )

What I'm looking forward to: Starting to really look at baby gear. I bought a couple of neutral outfits this weekend, but now that we had a great appointment, I feel like I can look "for real".

Milestones: A great 16 week appointment!

I spoke with my OB about whether I can "relax" now, because I've still been freaking out. She assured me that I now can relax.

She explained that 1st trimester losses are from COMPLETELY different reasons than 2nd and 3rd trimester losses. Since I have successfully made it to the 2nd trimester, I have no indication or risk of losing this baby.

She said the only thing that they will monitor with me is the "increased" change of a heart defect since Im diabetic. (I put "increased" in quotes because my blood sugar has been in such tight control, I truly don't have an increased risk from a non-diabetic mommy, but I get monitored none the less).

She assured me that even if a heart defect appears, it usually corrects itself in utero and if not, may require surgery. She said the defects are usually not fatal. Which made me feel MUCH better.

Tomorrow I will go in for blood work to do the quad screening. This will give us the odds of our baby having a chromosonal problem or neural tube defect. We should hear results in about a week. This test can give false positives, but since we didn't do the first tri screening, we thought we'd do this to *hopefully* give us some reassurance.

In 4 weeks I will see the OB again for a regular 20 week check up, but will have my anatomy scan along with a fetal echocardiogram with the perinatologist down the hall. We will be able to see all the details of our little one and check for any type of defect.

Please be praying that our little one has developed correctly and will continue to do so. I know, statistically our baby isn't at an increased risk, but I just pray they truly are healthy.

I can't believe we have to wait another whole month to see our little one! We were so spoiled to get to see them every 2 weeks, and now it'll have been 2 months since we last saw them! I'm so thankful for those doppler checks. They keep me sane!

Week 15

2011-08-31T16:28:00.000-07:00

How far along? 15 weeks, 1 day

Maternity clothes? Just pants

Sleep? Its gotten a bit better. The last week Ive only been getting up once to go to the bathroom. And instead of waking up at 6:30, Ive been waking up with Brian at 6. I think my energy is coming back!

Best moment this week? I've had several:

1. Feeling my bump expand. My tummy is getting really hard! And its growing up higher! Its so very weird! Im used to having a jiggly flabby tummy. Now when I poke it, its firm!

2. Going maternity clothes shopping with my mom. I just got a couple of things for fall. We went to Destination Maternity for their clearance sale and I loved it! The store is awesome! And everything was under $15!

3. My first student asked me if I was pregnant today. Bless their hearts, they didn't want to be rude and ask! Ive heard a couple of comments whispered, but none had asked me. I think the word will be out soon!

Food cravings: None really.

Gender: Team Green!

Belly button in or out? In

Movement? I don't think so... the other night I laid on the couch and REALLY tried to focus and thought I felt something like a fish swimming down low, but I think its probably psychological... I can't wait for real movement!

What I miss? Nothing : )

What I'm looking forward to: Our appointment next Tuesday. I'm praying we hear a nice, steady heartbeat again! I'm praying that my increasing waistline is a good indicator that all is well inside. Not that I worry about those types of things : )

Milestones: Obviously we are more pregnant than we've ever been! I feel like I'm starting to get to the "comfortable" part of pregnancy. I'm really anxious to hear our little one next week at 16 weeks and to see them on an ultrasound again and gain some reassurance that they are healthy!

This week I've been really trying to just meditate in the fact that God loves our child more than we ever could! He is preparing them for His perfect will, however that may look. I'm still worried and absolutely terrified of all the endless possibilities of what could happen with our child, but I assume that's just the beginning with mommyhood!

If you happen to think of us, a prayer for our baby and my anxious mind would surely be appreciated. I pray that our next appointment will help my heart be a little more at peace.

Week 14

2011-08-24T16:13:00.001-07:00

How far along? 14 weeks, 1 day

Maternity clothes? Just pants

Sleep? I usually wake up once or twice to go to the bathroom.

Best moment this week? Letting word get out about the baby and sharing in our excitement!

Food cravings: None really.

Gender: Team Green!

Belly button in or out? In

Movement? Nope. I can't wait for that!

What I miss? Nothing : )

What I'm looking forward to: Our next appointment in 2 weeks.

Milestones: We are definitely into the 2nd trimester by anyone's definitions. According to most, the chance of loss at this point is at or less than 1%. We are praying praying praying that this is our healthy take-home baby!

I will say, this first full week of teaching with kids is kicking my butt! I didn't have much morning sickness during 1st tri but it is sure here now! I think actually working is wearing me out and making me feel sick and tired. When I get home in the evening I am really trying to take it easy. I can't wait for that 2nd tri burst of energy and for the nesting to begin. My house is currently a wreck!

1st Nursery Purchase

2011-08-21T12:29:00.000-07:00

One thing I've been looking forward to for a long time is decorating a nursery.

Mr. Free and I have always known 2 things regarding our nursery:

1. It needed to be gender neutral

2. We didn't want a "theme" (i.e. No Winnie the Pooh or painted flowers on the wall...etc.)

So ever since our first pregnancy I've been looking for ideas on the internet.

I quickly fell in love with the idea of light turqoise walls with accents of sunny yellow and red.

And also during our first pregnancy I fell in love with this bedding at Target:

When it went on clearance for $35, I snatched it up.

So these are my basis.

A couple of weeks ago, I began looking at nurseries again and found this beautiful image:

I fell in love with that rug!

Those that have read my blog for awhile know how much I've dreamed of a chevron rug, but they are so pricey!

I wrote off that dream rug figuring it was too expensive.

But I was wrong.

As I read about this nursery, the article mentioned that the rug came from Urban Outfitters for $69.

I quickly showed it to Mr. Free with enthusiasm and he ordered it online.

When it came in the mail I saw it was perfect.

Our baby is getting the coveted chevron rug.

And I couldn't be happier.

So this is the foundation of what will become our nursery.

The room we will use is very small.

We anticipate only purchasing a crib and rocker for the space.

We already have a white bookshelf that will serve as storage in the room.

It is so exciting to have another room to decorate, and for such a worthy person makes it even more fun!

I will sure to update you along the way!

I have an announcement...

2011-08-16T12:24:00.000-07:00

This February, Mr. Free and I are expecting a little miracle!!!

I've been so quiet this summer because we wanted to wait to share our news with the world until we made it to the Second Trimester.

And truly, all I did this summer was sleep!

We are currently 13 weeks and so far, all is well. We've been monitored by the RE until we "graduated" after our 12 week sonogram.

It appears, thus far, that Femara and Prometrium were what we needed!

Here's some pics of our little LoveBug.

6 weeks

8 weeks

10 weeks

12 weeks

Mr. Free and I have truly felt each and every prayer. We have been so blessed to be surrounding by such caring people.

To be honest, I'm thrilled to be this far along, but I'm still very nervous. Any prayers you have to spare that this little one will arrive safely and healthy would be much appreciated!

My next appointment is in 3 weeks with my regular OB, which I'll be 16 weeks.

We've met with the regular OB once, at 11 weeks and got to hear the heartbeat on the doppler!

It was amazing to hear!

Nice and strong at 166 bpm!

We had never made it that far before.

Around 20 weeks we will be getting a quad and level II ultrasound, as diabetic moms run the risk of their babies having heart defects.

Luckily, my blood sugar has been in tight control, which technically puts our baby at the same risk as an other baby, but I will be monitored anyways.

And since I didn't blog my way through the 1st tri, here's a short recap:

Tired. Needed 1-2 naps daily. Praise the Lord it was summer vacation!

No food sounded good.

Except for KFC Chicken strips, mashed potatoes and biscuit.

Desserts sounded AWFUL! If you know me...you know that is truly not me in my normal state.

Anxiety was a companion through out, but each appointment made her shrink a bit.

I think I cooked twice. The whole summer. Yikes.

That's it! On to second tri!

For those wondering.... we are Team Green.

No pink or blue for us until February!

We are excited for such an amazing surprise!

Hopefully I will be much more regular around here, now that I'm gaining that 2nd tri energy!

Plus I'm excited to share my journey with you as we prepare for this little blessing!

Thank you all again for all your prayers!!!

Summer

2011-07-30T08:07:00.000-07:00

Sorry I've been MIA.

I've learned a lot about myself this summer.

Without a schedule, I am not productive at.all.

During the school year, I dream of days without responsibilities so I can work on the many homemaking projects I desire to do.

Then summer comes, and its a successful day if I shower and change out of my PJs!

We only have a week and a half of summer break left. Sniff sniff.

So what have Mr. Free and I done?

We..... went to the Lake for our 4th anniversary! (Where we ate one of the best meals of our lives in Laurie...JJ's at the Copper Pot. I HIGHLY recommend it!)

We... went to St. Louis to celebrate our nieces 1st birthdays!

We... raided the new KC Trader Joe's! They are awesome and MUCH bigger then the St. Louis location! Woohoo!

We....spent time with our good friends from England who stayed with us and then went on a road trip down to Arkansas.

We also spent lots of time in the pool, lake and watched a lot of House Hunters.

So maybe with getting back into the swing of the school year, I'll have more to blog about.

Thank for those who haven't given up on me! : )

Sugar and Cream

2011-06-07T18:37:00.000-07:00

While shopping at Crate and Barrel the other day, I noticed this set for sugar and cream.

Really cute right?

I love anything white and ceramic.

The price tag was $16.95 for the set. Not bad, but not great.

I don't even drink hot coffee....

So I walked away.

So today at Michaels, I bumped into these twins.

See the resemblence?

Wanna know their price?

$.50 each.

Yup.

$1 for the set.

They came home with me.

And we lived happily ever after.

: )

Pinterested?

2011-05-24T16:42:00.000-07:00

If you haven't heard...Pinterest is the new thing!

I had heard all about it, but wasn't sure what all the fuss was about.

I went to the website and saw a bunch of pretty pictures, but didn't "get it".

I get it now.

Pinterest is basically a website to help you organize all your inspirational pictures you find on the interwebz and share them with people who want to "follow you".

You can login in via Facebook and you will automatically see people's "pinboards" that you are friends with on Facebook.

It is seriously addicting!

I love perusing the internet for pretty pictures and to give me ideas for my home. And now it's the perfect place to contain all those pictures and recipes!

Check it out for yourself....it's a great time waster!

If you're interested in following my pinboards....CLICK HERE!

I have pinboards for fashion, recipes, entertaining, organization and home decorating for each area of my home.

If you have a pinterest....share it with me! I'd love to follow you!

Happy Searching!

P.S. Only 2.5 days of school until SUMMER!!!

An answer

2011-05-18T14:52:00.000-07:00

I had my CD3 baseline sonogram today with the RE to go ahead and begin a medicated TTC cycle.

Everything looked fine and I will begin the Femara tomorrow.

But on my way out, I thought I'd ask the nurse if she knew my endometrial biopsy results.

I told her I hadn't heard anything, so I assumed no news was good news.

She told me to head into the Dr.'s office and he would discuss it with me.

He pulled out my chart and evidently I have a luteal phase defect. We did the endometrial biopsy on CD 21, but the lining only dated at CD 16.

This, he said *could* be the reason behind my miscarriages.

He said the way to "fix" this problem is the plan he already had in place. Femara and Prometrium.

Evidently, some women produce lower quality follicles, which result in lower quality eggs. These eggs rarely are able to be fertilized, and if they do, they usually do not sustain. These lower quality follicles cause the body to not produce enough progesterone to sustain a pregnancy.

So.... the Femara (which I begin tomorrow) should produce better quality follicles and eggs and the Prometrium should beef up my lining enough to support a healthy pregnancy!

As weird as it is, this made me SO happy!!!!

I have been in a pretty major funk since the testing ended. I was relieved it was over, but was very disappointed to not have any answers and feared that we would just have loss after loss.

Now, I'm feeling *much* more hopeful!

God is good!!!

So, if you are the praying type, please be praying for us this cycle that things will go well and if the Lord wills it, will result in a healthy pregnancy and take-home baby!

On a related note, we are now currently battling Blue Cross/Blue Shield as they are flagging all of my miscarriage/hormone treatment as Infertility and refusing to cover it. We are appealing this, but the bills are coming in and they are NOT cheap! It's a bit overwhelming, but we'd appreciate prayers on this as well, that God will provide and sustain us through this financial hurdle, however it may be resolved.

Thank you all so much for your support through our journey. It truly has helped lift my spirit day after day!

The Plan, Stan

2011-05-09T18:52:00.000-07:00

*sigh*

The testing is over!

Immediatly following the biopsy last Wednesday, the RE pulled us into his office and went ahead and formed a plan based on all the testing so far for the next 2 cycles.

So far, all tests have come back normal.

I'm not sure whether to be thankful, or not.

I'm glad everything is fine, but I wish we could've found a problem and insure we fix it for next time.

But he said that with this plan, it'll make everything from "good" to "great".

So, for the next 2 cycles we will:

CD 3 Baseline scan

Make sure everything is looking good internally to medically ovulate

CD 3-7 5 mg Femara

This will cause me to ovulate and make a better quality egg. The risk of multiples is around 10%, which is much lower than Clomid, the most popular ovulation medication. Femara is becoming more popular as it usually only produces 1 very healthy follicle, versus multiple follicles and helps build up your lining vs. Clomid that tends to thin it out

CD 10- 20 Digital Ovulation Predictor Kits

(Clear Blue Easy Digital- with the smiley faces!)

CD 12 Mid-cycle scan

This will show that I am in fact producing a healthy follicle

7 days after ovulation, begin 200 mg Prometrium

For 10 days, if pregnant, keep on until 11 weeks pregnant, if negative, discontinue use. (Prometrium is progesterone which will build up the lining and increase the chance of good implantation)

Whew.

I thought after testing I'd feel light as a feather. But now that we are looking to be "trying" again, I'm terrified. I'm worried about not "doing enough". I'm worried that we will somehow still lose another baby.

For some reason, I had it in my mind that if I went through all the testing, I'd somehow be guaranteed my healthy baby, but I'm suddenly realizing there is no such promise.

The RE said if we aren't pregnant in 2 cycles or have another miscarriage, we will do laproscopy surgery to look for endometriosis. I truly do not have believe I have that as I've had 0 symptoms.

The RE also said he didn't want to persue Baby Aspirin or extra Folic Acid at this time. If needed, down the road we can look into this but he is confident with this plan.

Please just pray for us if you will.

One, for peace and comfort during this next chapter. That we can fully trust God and his good plan despite the outcome. But we truly pray for our take-home-baby this time!

I just keep studying Phill. 4, specifically verse 6.

I'm striving to not be anxious and give all my concerns to Him.

He is above statistics. He is above modern medicine.

He is in control.

Second, for financial assistance. We were told that insurance should cover the testing, as it was diagnostic. However, we got our first insurance statement and somehow it was labeled as "infertility" which would mean totally out-of-pocket. So last month could cost thousands of dollars. Plus this next month or 2 would be even more. I left a message at the RE's office asking if it can be re-coded and haven't heard back yet. I'm prepped to fight either the billing dept or insurance, but just pray that the Lord will provide in whatever way necessary.

I never thought this road to motherhood would be so bumpy, but I just care about arriving at the destination. : )

INSANE past 24 hours...

2011-05-05T17:05:00.001-07:00

Here's the recap.

Yesterday I was scheduled for my endometrial biopsy at 3.

I was very nervous about this procedure, since when you google about it, it is always described as "horrific torture".

So, I went in to work for a half day and was a nervous wreck.

I left at noon and went home to take my Valium at one. Doc said to take it 2 hours in advance.

I get home, let the doggies out, take my Valium and lay down as it made me sleepy.

I wake up and then go outside to water the flowers and notice I didn't see the dogs on the deck.

I then look over and see the gate we rarely use wide open.

So here I am, Valiumed up, in panic mode.

Weird feeling.

I just start running around the neighborhood, thinking of their usual spots.

Mr. Free gets home and we frantically look, but know we have the appointment in 20 minutes.

We had to go.

I'm a sobbing mess.

I'm imagining the worst scenarios with my dogs and know I'm about to be tortured in my most sensitive areas.

Thank the Lord for the Valium because I can't IMAGE how I'd be without that!

The procedure takes like 5 minutes.

It hurts.

Worse than the HSG.

My cervix wasn't cooperating. Was tight as a drum. Had to dilate and clamp it. Taking the sample HURT. I squeezed Mr. Free's hand, started crying and just prayed for my sweet little doggies.

I start feeling light-headed and nauseated, but luckily that's as far as it went.

I laid on the table for a few minutes to gain composure, but knew that it was precious time in finding my pups.

We had called animal control and rushed home to put of signs and patrol the area looking for them and talking to everyone we saw.

No one saw a thing.

I looked up different articles about finding lost dogs.

We tried every database, craigslist, facebook, etc.

I also read that the chance of finding a lost dog is 16%.

And we had 2.

I was devastated.

I cried and sobbed thinking we lost them forever.

I slept in the guest room, which is closest to the backyard with the window open praying Id hear their barks.

Nope.

I woke up this morning a sobbing mess again, a nervous wreck then got sick because I was so worked up.

And then I was supposed to go teach children.

Joy.

BUT people suggested calling the local vet. On our way to work Mr. Free called the biggest vet in the city and they said someone came in last night saying they found 2 basset hounds.

IT WAS THEM!!!

They dropped them by this afternoon and we are SO thankful to have them home!!!

We went out and got a lock for our gate and got them new shiny collars.

Our testing is now over and we have a plan.

I'll update on that next post.

But life is looking up!

I'm ready to relax!

Re-Organized Living Room

2011-05-02T15:34:00.001-07:00

Yay! A post not related to fertility!

Thank you for bearing with me Readers.

As you can imagine, I haven't quite been myself over the last 7 months and with each loss "regular life" got harder and harder.

As Mr. Free can attest, for quite awhile our home was no where ready for company and our menu was "survival basic".

I'm slowly trying to return to normal as I'm feeling a bit more optimistic about the future.

And with that...this weekend I actually felt like cleaning and organizing!

Plus took some pictures of our living room for you all, which I hadn't yet done!

First of all, our living room is tiny.

There is no entry, you just walk straight into it.

And this is our only living space.

So it houses our TV, DVD player, computer, Xbox, PS3.

The works.

So, to help it be organized and clutter-free is tough!

This is our "faux entry".

We hung a chalkboard/dry erase board to leave notes, as well as a coat hook for our guests.

Last year we installed this new front door.

The old one was just a wood slab, and this one with the little window cutout provides so much more light!

When furnishing our house, we loved this coffee table.

We knew we wanted glass, so it'd make the room feel bigger.

BUT we didn't think about low-riding basset hounds walking underneath smearing their oily coats on it.

It never looks clean.

On top of the coffee table is my yummy almond scented candle (those are hard to find!), a tray with current magazines and a box with remotes and coasters.

Next to our hand-me-down loveseat is this little tulip side table I snatched at Target a few years ago on clearance with a candle.

I love the striped entry mat. Another Target purchase!

The entertainment center was Mr. Free's from his bachelor days.

I like it in the fact that it provides a lot of storage and even a faux mantle for the holidays.

Above we have one of our favorite wedding pictures.

On the faux mantle is some of the milk glass I've collected.

The shelves contain our entertainment necessities, but I've worked hard to make it look as nice and clutter-free as possible.

The baskets hold games, DVDs and computer equipment.

The vintage books hold the output box and my DIY tart burner.

So there you have it!

Not perfect. Not designer.

But it works for us!

CD 12: Mid Cycle Scan

2011-04-25T15:32:00.000-07:00

First of all, I just want to say how humbled I am in the way the Lord is working in my life.

God has brought so many wonderful women into my life through this trial I am enduring.

Many women are broken and experiencing miscarriages or infertility.

Some women have healthy children but have been an incredible encouragement to me, though they cannot even relate to this situation.

Thank you everyone for your thoughts, prayers, emails and messages.

I have shed many tears just over how encouraged and loved I feel by the sisters around me.

I have strived to be very transparent through out everything, because I know that hearts aren't connected through false perfection. Through trials and reality can connections be made. I pray that God will continue to use me as a woman that others feel they can come too if they face anything similar to what I have experienced.

On to today:

The Mid Cycle Scan showed everything being normal.

I am gearing up to ovulate with ol' lefty and my endometrial layer looked great.

He said my ovulation looked "good" but once I'm cleared he will make it look "great".

I keep interpreting that to mean we will possibly have a medically induced ovulation?

I'm not sure.

We will discuss it after all the tests are run.

The next/final test is the oh-so-dreaded endometrial biopsy.

I spoke to the nurse about it and she said she doesn't like those.

I asked her that with Valium if it'll be better.

She stopped in her tracks.

"The doctor prescribed you Valium?"

I told her, yes he did.

She asked "Really?"

"Yes....."

"He NEVER prescribes Valium for anyone. You must really be special."

Try frantic lunatic, but whatever works!

She said with the Valium itll be a breeze! She said that at the moment of taking out the endometrial layer it creates severe cramping, but it literally lasts a few seconds and between the Valium and ibuprofen Ill do just fine.

Phew!

I've never taken Valium before.... Ive heard it makes you "drunk" feeling?

Like you just don't care?

Anybody have any experience they want to share?

3 down....1 left!

CD 7: HSG done!!!!

2011-04-20T07:52:00.000-07:00

It feels SO good to write that the HSG is done!

You wouldn't believe how nervous I was!

Or maybe you would....

This procedure had been on my mind non-stop since Sunday.

I've cried more tears than I could count anticipating it.

Last night I didn't sleep at all. Just watched the clock.

By about 5 a.m. I was up and getting sick because my stomach was so nervous.

I arrived to the imaging center in tears and the nurse was so good in talking me through it.

She said never ever google about procedures.

You will only hear the horror stores.

Lesson learned.

Then Dr. Z came in and said I just had to trust him and it really wouldn't be as bad as I had anticipated.

The nurse talked me through the procedure.

First the speculum, cold and pressure.

Then clean the cervix, cold and wet.

Then the cervical clamp (This is the part where women said they got sick, passed out, that it hurt like complete torture.) Me? I didn't feel a thing! Honest! I had to ask if they'd even done it!

Thank you Dr. Z and ibuprofen!

Then the dye was injected via catheter into my cervix. At first I didn't feel anything but after about a minute it felt like strong menstrual cramps. At that time the radiologist began the X-Rays and I said out loud "Ouch! This hurts!" Then he said those magical words, "I'm done!"

Very quickly Dr. Z took out the clamp and catheter and all was right with the world.

He showed me the X-Rays and all is good!

Apparently I have an ever-so-slightly tilted uterus, but no blockages or scarring whatsoever!

I was terrified that the D & C left some scarring...but I am clear!

Did you know your tubes are so twisty? Its weird!

So then I was able to change and go on my merry way!

Dr. Z was right.

He was so gentle and quick.

I asked him about the endometrial biopsy.

He said the pain is very similar but even quicker.

Between the ibuprofen and the valium I know it ll be OK.

So...2 tests down, 2 to go!

Thank you so much for all your prayers! I truly feel the Lord leading me through this entire process!

CD 2: Test 1 done!

2011-04-15T12:54:00.000-07:00

So yesterday was the dreaded Cycle Day One.

I nearly cried, because I knew this meant the month from you-know-where.

So I set up all my appointments and today went in for my baseline ultrasound and bloodwork.

The ultrasound showed two healthy ovaries, with no cysts present.

And it appears that ol' lefty will be ovulating this next cycle.

It was weird to see.

And I knew you'd totally want to know all of this. : )

Then the Dr. asked me to come back to his office and he fumbled through his desk, found the vial and the needle and did my blood work right there.

Kinda weird.

But it was all sealed and sterile.

But weird.

So then I went to Target and got a smoothie and enjoyed my morning before I had to go into work.

My next test is the HSG next Wednesday.

I'm pretty nervous as I've heard various reports on the pain level for this test, but the good thing is that is a pretty quick test.

Please pray that for me it will be pain-free!

I'm taking the whole day off for that one, and the appointment is at 7:30 in the morning, so hopefully I'll be able to take it easy the rest of the day!

Sorry for boring you with all the details, but this is my life right now!

Have a great weekend!

The Plan

2011-04-11T13:37:00.001-07:00

Well, Mr. Free and I met with our new RE (reproductive endocrinologist) 2 weeks ago, and then I went in for a quick exam last week.

In going over our history and my current medical concerns, the Dr. was very optimistic that at the end of this road we will be holding a healthy baby! As much as I want to believe this, and know that I should be thinking positively, I'm still very skeptical. My heart has just been shatterd this past year, and I'm terrified of getting my hopes up again. For now, I'm just taking life one day at a time.

Anyways, here is the plan for this next cycle:

CD 3: Blood work to check for many factors that could contribute to early miscarriage (blood glucose, thyroid, antibodies, clotting disorders, etc.)

Baseline ultrasound

CD 7: HSG at the hospital: this looks for structural problems in the uterus such a scarring (I'm pretty nervous about this...)

CD 14: Sonogram

CED 26: Endometrial biopsy: This checks the endometrial lining for a luteral phase defect (Not going to lie...I've been terrified of this! I have negotiated and gotten valium out of the deal! Hoping to get some for the HSG too!)

Then after this, the Dr. will look over all results and see if we can come up with a cause for my losses.

If so, we will obviously fix it.

If there isn't a cause, we will proceed trying to conceive as usual for 2 cycles, using OPKs and if no pregnancy or another miscarriage occurs, then we will do laprascopy so he can see inside my uterus to make sure I do not have endometriosis.

Whew.

It's terrifying.

But I'm glad I have support.

And I'm very thankful to have an optimistic doctor.

And an optimistic husband.

Mr. Free and I appreciate all the prayers for us and our journey.

We are praying hard for answers and a healthy baby soon!

P.S. If any of you have experienced any of this testing, for any reason, please let me know how it was! The "unknown" can be so frightening!

Sleepin' in the dark

2011-04-10T15:45:00.000-07:00

In marriage, you learn a lot about your spouse.

This past year, I've learned my husband loves our room to be pitch-black to sleep.

How did I learn this?

I came home one day to see our thrown blankets acting as draperies in our bedroom.

As functional as they were, I knew I needed something a little more...pretty.

Voila.

These were $12.99/ panel at Target. Pretty reasonable for lined drapes.

They aren't perfect "black out shades" as they do let in a bit of light, however, at night time our room is pitch black. You cant see a darn thing.

I can sleep anytime, anywhere.

A completely darkened room is not necessary.

But Mr. Free needs it black.

What about you?

Do you have blackout shades in your bedroom?

Or can you sleep in full light?

Thank You

2011-03-27T15:03:00.000-07:00

Thank you so much for the comments, e-mails, facebook messages and prayers.

Mr. Free and I have truly felt the power of prayer.

We have been so blessed by the support we have received from so many people.

An incredibly thoughtful co-worker surprised me with these Wall Words this past week. She thought they were just the message we needed, and I couldn't agree more.

Mr. Free hung it up on our bedroom so that this message of hope will be the last thing we see at night and the first thing we see when we wake up in the morning!

Mr. Free and I will be meeting with a Fertility Specialist tomorrow to begin testing and hopefully diagnosing a problem that has lead to our miscarriages.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared and nervous for what could lie ahead.

As weird as it is, I am also strangely excited.

Mr. Free and I have always felt called to be parents.

We had always had interest in both biological and adopted children.

At this point, we are unsure of which way God is leading us, or whether it will be both!

We are just praying for very clear direction.

I never would have thought that I would be so open about trying to conceive a healthy child, but I pray that my transparency will be nothing but an encouragement to others.

I know I am not alone, and pray that through my openness on the situation and its struggles that I could be a blessing and encouragement to other women experiencing this extremely difficult path.

If you would, please continue to pray for Mr. Free and I as we begin this new path to parenthood tomorrow. Please pray for us to have strength, comfort and peace. Please pray for a clear problem and an easy solution. But most of all, pray for our hearts to be receptive to the path the Lord has planned for us.

I'm here.

2011-03-15T16:14:00.001-07:00

Sorry for the unexpected break.

Life has been hard lately.

A little over a week ago, we got a positive pregnancy test.

But, our first few betas weren't doubling like they should.

I've spent the last week researching every glimmer of hope I could in the situation.

Today I started to miscarry.

Our 3rd miscarriage in 6 months.

We are obviously heartbroken and confused.

Today I have just been in a fog thinking through our various options.

Are we ever going to be biological parents?

We have an appointment scheduled in 2 weeks with a reproductive endocrinologist.

We are going to have to go through intensive testing to see why we keep losing our babies.

I pray we get some answers.

And I pray they are an easy fix.

Like most insurances, ours doesn't cover any infertility treatments.

And we really do not have the funds to pursue them.

Or adoption.

I feel like parenthood is out of our reach.

*sigh*

I keep telling myself that I am right where God wants me.

It's hard.

Very hard.

But He is here with me and I am here for a reason.

As much as I want to be a mother right now, if thats not His plan, then I don't want to be anywhere else.

I know God will use us.

I know He *is* using us.

We could really use your prayers.

This is a very dark time for us right now.

And 'success' stories are appreciated as well.

Writing Letters

2011-03-02T14:24:00.000-08:00

My generation (as a whole) kind of missed the whole 'letter writing' thing.

By the time I was sixteen most teenagers had Instant Messenger (I'm dating myself here...), Xangas, and cell phones.

Nowdays between Facebook, blogs and texting, written communication is pretty much limited to paying bills and the occasional Thank You card.

But I'm hoping to change that.

For myself at least.

May convert a few of you.

I made it one of my personal goals (101 in 1001) to write notes to people weekly.

I know that receiving a handwritten note means much more than a text or Facebook message (though these are encouraging as well!)

But it shows I was worth the money it took to buy that note and the time it took to hand write out that heartfelt message.

I want to use that to bless others around me.

For Valentine's Day, I wanted to write my sweetie a note, so I purchased these recycled blank note cards at Target for a mere $3.99.

I've stationed them on our desk in a handy spot so that weekly I will be inclined to sit down and write a little note of encouragement to someone that needs it.

Plus they are a pretty darn cute desk accessory!

So Readers....do you write hand written notes?

If so, how often?

If you don't, would you join my challenge in writing notes of encouragement to people around you!

I know both you and they will be blessed by it!

Baking

2011-02-28T17:50:00.000-08:00

This past weekend I had such a great time baking with some friends from church.

A couple at our church used to own a Great Harvest Bread Company .

I was raised on that bread, and when I learned that this couple used to own one, I knew I had to learn from them!

So a few of us girls from church met at their house and learned a ton!

And ate the best bread ever!

We started the afternoon by grinding our own wheat.

Yeah....never done that before.

One of the girls owns a wheat grinder and man, that made awesome flour!

We then made a Challah dough and a Whole Wheat dough.

We used a 'sponge' method for the dough, which was totally new to me.

Basically you mix the 'wet' ingredients together with part of the flour, let it sit and the yeast do its thing for 30-40 min, then add in the rest of the flour and salt. Then continue the regular process.

The Challah dough was very versatile.

And it doesn't need to be kneaded.

Even better.

They said the Challah dough makes perfect cinnamon rolls.

We made a 'savory roll' with fresh pesto and parmesan.

It was incredible.

Probably the two greatest things I learned from it was:

1. You don't need fat. No butter or oil is needed. That shocked me!

2. The ideal temperature for your dough is between 80 and 82 degrees. It was suggested to bump up your heat when making bread, and to take temps of all the ingredients. If your ingredients are running a little cool, make the water a bit warmer. If the ingredients are warm, make the water cooler. Genius.

At the end of the day, we all left with a loaf of Challah and a loaf of Whole Wheat.

For dinner we all dined on soup, salad, and our 'savory rolls'.

I wish I took more pictures, but my hands were covered in dough and flour for a good portion of the day.

We made them promise to do this again soon.

Especially when I learned that they have an awesome soft pretzel recipe....

This couple at church is not a couple I knew very well. They are around my parents age and it was amazing to learn from them and to hear their wisdom.

I strongly encourage you to get to know an older generation of people and learn from them.

I know as a wife I can learn so much about marriage, family and running a home from someone a few steps down the road!

Six Months

2011-02-25T14:48:00.000-08:00

It's been six months since I had to write this post.

It's been the hardest six months of my life.

Six months ago today we found out our sweet baby was in Heaven.

I was hoping at this point, I'd be happily expecting again.

But the Lord has had other plans.

The last six months have been so hard.

It is so hard to with every fiber of your being want something so bad, then to get it, and then have it taken away.

I know I am not the only person to ever experience the loss of someone or something they love.

2 months ago, on my birthday I received the best gift I could think of.

A positive pregnancy test.

3 days later, that was gone too.

I feel like my body is broken.

I feel like I'm not good enough.

If God grants 16 year olds precious children, then I surely must not be good enough for Him to grant me a child.

I know in my heart of hearts thats not true, but these are the things that go through my mind every day.

Every.day.

I know I am only viewing eternity from my limited perspective now.

I know God has great plans for Mr. Free and I.

I know God has laid on my heart to minister to other women who have experienced similar events.

I know He has grown me into a stronger woman through these experiences.

I know Mr. Free and I have grown so close over the last 6 months.

I know my God is a good, loving God with the best plan for me imaginable.

But, in my humanity, and my weakness, I am broken.

"Hope deferred makes a heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life."

Proverbs 13:12

Dilemna Update

2011-02-24T12:49:00.000-08:00

Well, we spoke with our friends from 'across the pond' and as it turns out, they are coming HERE for most of the summer!

With that in mind, we have (I think...) settled on making a domestic trip to see them and finishing the basement!

I am uber excited to get started on this project!

Although decorating is last on the LONG list of to-do's when finishing a basement, I can't help but look...

Here are a few of my current favorites:

eclectic media room design by philadelphia home staging Busybee Design

eclectic family room design by new york interior designer Tara Seawright

eclectic family room design by portland interior designer Garrison Hullinger Interior Design Inc.

I love the coziness of these rooms and the splashes of color!

The space will be 500 sq. feet, and here is on my list:
- An actual laundry space
- A storage room
- Canned lighting
- Carpet (as much as I love our hardwoods, I'm excited for some soft, fluffy carpet!)
- Big comfy entertaining area
- Comfy sectional with our existing couch
- New TV and entertainment center
- Bookshelves to create a mini-library

I'm excited to get my hands dirty with my hubby and make a beautiful space to share with our family and friends!

So...have any of you finished off your basement yourselves?

If you were to finish your basement...what would be on your list of 'must haves'?